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Diane Gottsman | Leading Etiquette Expert | Modern Manners Authority

Leading Etiquette Expert and Modern Manners Authority Diane Gottsman’s official blog, with Business Etiquette, University Etiquette, Social Media Etiquette, Dining Etiquette and more.

Can Charisma Be Taught?

27 Mar 2017 By: Diane Gottsman

Charismatic people share certain characteristics that make them stand out above the rest.

Charismatic People

They are interesting, likable and exude confidence. They make you feel comfortable and immediately put you at ease. Charm comes with perks in the form of an emotional connection and trust. Most importantly, a true connection is genuine. You can’t fake it. But you can adopt some habits of naturally compelling people.

There are even studies that show charisma is contagious. According to an article in Harvard Business Review, the author states “Humans use many types of signals, but honest signals are unusual in that they cause changes in the receiver of the signal. If we’re spending time together, and I’m happy and bubbly, you’ll be more happy and bubbly. There are biological functions that transfer the signals. If I’m happy, it almost literally rubs off on you.” Most people are much happier surrounding themselves with positive, engaging individuals who are optimistic and uplifting.

Here are 5 tips to develop charismatic tendencies.

Listen Attentively

The difference between someone who is engaged and someone who isn’t comes down to the basics. Look up and listen. The most important person is the one standing or sitting across from you. Charismatic people know how to make others feel valued by putting their technology away and thoughtfully offering their full attention. When it’s time to exit a conversation, they excuse themselves politely by extending their hand for a handshake (or a hug when appropriate in social situations with family and close friends) and closing the conversation with a pleasantry.

Don’t Overshare

A charismatic individual simply doesn’t go there. They avoid gossip and know how to keep their own issues under wraps unless seeking the advice from a trusted advisor. They are also keen on who to trust and who to steer clear from when delicate topics are brought to light.

Charismatic people are well-informed on topics relevant to people they are going to meet. They do their research on current events, industry news and the latest blockbuster movies. Additionally, they stay away from controversial topics that may start uncomfortable debates.

Let Your Accomplishments Speak for Themselves

When you’re impressive or influential, there’s no need to brag or namedrop. The understated elegance that stems from a charming attitude will make a better impression than words can convey. A charismatic person never boasts about their own accomplishments.

Leave the Sales Pitch at Home

In any social situation, leading with a sales pitch is inappropriate. The real estate agent showing up to a funeral to ask the widow if she plans to sell the property or the insurance salesman pitching his products at a cocktail party have become sitcom clichés. A charismatic individual knows that building relationships first will bring business in the future.

Style Yourself with Care

Charismatic people are known for their attention to detail, both personally and professionally. Much like a self-fulfilling prophecy, when you take pride in yourself and what you do, you feel better which makes other people more attracted to you. The cycle continues, and you conduct yourself accordingly. Practice makes perfect and the time to start is now.

You may also like 5 No-Fail Tactics for Making a Lasting Impression. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on The Huffington Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life here.

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Diane Gottsman

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.

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Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert, sought after industry leader, and owner of The Protocol School of Texas,
a company specializing in executive leadership and business etiquette training.

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