Wedding Etiquette: Rules and Traditions

There is an infinite amount of things to think about when it comes to weddings.

I have collected some of our most commonly asked questions and turned it into an article which will answer the 4-1-1 on wedding etiquette.

Listen Up Guys – The Boutonniere Is Worn on the Left Side

Both the groom and his groomsmen should pin their boutonniere on the left side of their lapel. Not to be confused with a woman’s corsage, the flower should be small, simple and tasteful. For a good instruction video, visit this page on Gentleman’s Gazette.

Yes, the Groom’s Cake Is Optional

I am often asked if the groom must have his own cake. It is certainly an additional accent to the wedding table, as well as another cost that the couple may or may not want to incur. Some brides and grooms want to highlight a favorite theme, sport or hobby and make the cake a special affair for the groom. Other couples choose to skip the tradition entirely.

The groom’s cake was traditionally designed for a slice to be taken home by the guests. The single women would put it under their pillow (Don’t ask me how without getting sticky and messy!) and dream about who they would one day marry. The final answer is: it’s completely up to the couple.

Timing Is Key When Cutting the Cake

Guests who are getting tired or simply ready to call it a night are not traditionally supposed to leave until the cake has been cut. However, while your great aunt is wondering when she can call and get an uber, you should exercise some consideration by cutting the cake in a timely manner. This eliminates the guilt felt by guests who want to slip out early or are feeling anxious about wanting to get home in time to watch reruns of the Gilmore Girls.

Honestly, some people may be having a better time than others who do not want to drive home late or are not interested in listening to the loud band. Etiquette tip: The bride and groom should cut the cake shortly after dinner is over as the natural progression of the meal.

Hold Your Utensils Politely

When cutting the cake, the bride holds the knife with her dominant hand and the groom assists by gently placing his hand on top of hers as they glide together to slice the towering confection. It also makes a nice picture! Doing so together symbolizes a happy union.

“It’s the Thought That Counts” but Make It Easy For the Wedding Couple

To avoid an envelope of cash or a check getting lost at the reception, send it to the bride’s home or the parents’ home in advance or shortly after the wedding. You can also do the same with the wedding gift. You do not, however, have a year to give the newlywed couple a gift. Think about it. You see the couple on a regular basis for dinner, and you haven’t given them a wedding gift yet. What are they thinking every time they see you? That’s right – you are cheap, or you have forgotten! Go the registry and place your order online. Don’t delay. While it’s perfectly appropriate to bring a gift to the reception, avoid bringing the wrapped box to the church service.

To Clink or Not to Clink

A meaningful wedding toast is a standard tradition, usually given first by the best man. The maid of honor follows with her own heartfelt sentiments. The bride’s parents will want to stand and give a toast, followed by the groom’s.

Lastly, the bride and groom will say something, standing and thanking everyone for attending and being a part of one of the most important days of their lives. Do not let it go on too long. Each time a toast is made, glasses will be lifted towards the front of the room where the person toasting is standing. It is not necessary to clink everyone at the table.

Make the day special by relaxing and having fun. Put away your cell phone unless the couple has asked you to hashtag their wedding!

For more information on Wedding Etiquette, watch my segment aired on Fox 7 Good Day Austin.

You may also like Wedding Cake Etiquette and Traditions. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on Huff Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.