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Diane Gottsman | Leading Etiquette Expert | Modern Manners Authority

Leading Etiquette Expert and Modern Manners Authority Diane Gottsman’s official blog, with Business Etiquette, University Etiquette, Social Media Etiquette, Dining Etiquette and more.

4 Ways to Reduce Stress When Life is Hectic

19 Mar 2018 By: Diane Gottsman

When life is humming along at a smooth pace, and every character is behaving as you prefer, it’s easy to keep it together.

4 Ways to Reduce Stress

Originally published on HuffPost.

Composure becomes exceedingly more difficult when you’re under significant pressure or when others are decidedly not interested in playing by your rules. So how do you maintain sanity under stress?

Manage Your Ego

One of the most common sources of anxiety is your mindset. Overanalyzing a situation can lead to undue pressure, which in reality may not be necessary. This often happens when you feel something is at stake, or your reputation is on the line. Internal strain can lead to an outburst when something goes wrong or deviates from the picture-perfect scenario you’ve created in your mind.

Instead, remember: whatever the event, it isn’t about you. Even when you’re a keynote speaker or the chairman of the board, if you can approach a situation with an attitude of helpfulness instead of allowing your ego to believe everyone is criticizing you, the pressure will dissipate and allow you to better maintain your composure.

Forgive the Oversight

Not everyone is out to get you. If you bristle at every word and action of another person, you’ll constantly be looking for new friends. Showing others grace is a character builder. Allowing someone to continuously step on you, however, is a weakness and should be dealt with professionally, privately and swiftly. Don’t confuse the two ― one is unintentional, and the other is subversive.

Turn on Your Analytical Brain

When something particularly trying is happening, and you begin to feel your emotions flair, it can be especially hard to keep it together. This is also true when the situation is frightening. The same area of the brain is activated in times of stress and in times of fear. You can avoid an outburst and control your emotions with a simple trick.

When you feel like you’re about to lose emotional control, perform calculations in your head. It can be as simple as counting to ten, or as complex as multiplying three-digit numbers. The premise is that your brain has a hard time working both sides at once, and emotions and analysis occur on opposite sides. By the time you’re finished with your calculation, you should be be able to get a grip on your emotions and determine a plan of action.

Walk Away

If a situation feels like it’s getting out of control, your best chance at staying calm and collected might be to take a break. When you remove yourself, it often allows you to take a breath and view the scene in a clearer light. This helps ease nerves and frequently paves the way to a fruitful resolution of the problem.

While it’s not okay to avoid issues, it is okay to politely excuse yourself for a moment. Simply leave the area and take a few deep breaths until you feel relaxed. Then you can emerge as the dignified person you really are.

Finally, don’t discount the value of meditation and professional counseling. Both are tools that will help greatly in your quest for peace and serenity.

For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, you may enjoy 5 Types of Joy Stealers and How to Overcome Them. Read her posts on Inc., and HuffPost, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Diane’s latest book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life is available on Amazon.

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Diane Gottsman

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.

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Also, the nice thing about interviewing etiquette experts was they all returned my call. Thanks @Debretts @williamhanson Laura @PolishedManners and @DianeGottsman for bringing some clarity to protocol chaos

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Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert, sought after industry leader, and owner of The Protocol School of Texas,
a company specializing in executive leadership and business etiquette training.

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