A toast is a meaningful way to express a welcome, show gratitude or acknowledge a special guest. As both a host or guest, you may be inspired to communicate your feelings to the crowd. This time of year, family meals, office functions, cocktail parties and other holiday gatherings present the opportunity to raise a glass in celebration. A thoughtfully-worded toast can add to the festivities.
Here are seven tips to make the most of the opportunity.
1. Prepare
The best toasts often seem effortless or spontaneous, but in most cases, the speaker has carefully chosen their words in advance. If you believe you will be giving a toast, contemplate what you will say, especially if you intend to go beyond a simple “Here’s to a great group of coworkers!”
2. Timing Is Everything
Toasts are most often given at one of a few key times: either at the start of a function by the host to welcome guests, at the beginning of a meal, or during dessert. However, a toast is acceptable whenever it seems fitting.
It’s customary for a host to deliver the first toast to welcome their guests. If it becomes clear there will not be a formal toast, it’s appropriate for a guest to make the first toast in tribute to the host who has extended their hospitality to the group.
3. Keep It Short and Sweet
Remember you are delivering a toast, not a speech. Feel free to share a brief anecdote suitable to the occasion but plan in advance to keep it concise and to the point. Something as simple as, “Here’s to Chris, a great friend and a wonderful host” will be thoughtful and appreciated.
4. Fill the Glass
Scan the room to see that everyone has a beverage, especially for a more formal toast, such as one at a wedding or retirement party. It doesn’t have to be alcoholic; any drink the guest prefers is fine as long as everyone has a glass to raise.
5. Get Their Attention
In a small group, it may be as easy as saying “I’d like to make a toast.” At a bigger event where guests are mainly seated, standing and holding your glass gives others a visual cue that a toast is about to happen. In larger crowds, enlist help from other guests to spread the word so others will realize what you’re trying to do and give you their attention. Clanking silverware on your glass, whistling or yelling are never appropriate.
6. Think Before You Clink
Contrary to popular belief, clinking glasses together after a toast is not necessary, nor is it particularly desirable. After all, if you and your partner miscalculate the speed and distance, you could smash your wine glasses. Instead, lift your glass in the general direction of others.
7. For the Recipient
Finally, if you are the one being honored with a toast, the rules are simple: stay seated and enjoy the moment. Refrain from drinking to yourself. Instead, a genuine smile of appreciation followed by a “thank you” at the end is the ideal response. After that, you may stand and raise your glass to honor the host or others at the celebration if you’re moved to do so.
You may also like The Holiday Toast: Commonly Asked Etiquette Questions. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on Huff Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.
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