Tips to Keeping a Friendship Strong

A frequently shared Helen Keller quote reads: “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.”

Whether you are fortunate enough to have a lifelong friend that feels like a sister (that’s you, Laurie!), or a group of friends you can lean on and rely on in good times and bad (there are many of these special women in my life, as well), having a support team you can trust is a true gift.

Navigating the relationship when times are rosey is a breeze, but when a friend is going through a difficult time, such as a serious illness, a divorce, the loss of a family member or a job transition, it can bring out the best or least favorable sides of a relationship.

If you know someone enduring a bump in life, they may appear perfectly fine from the outside, owning a brilliant smile and keeping a skip in their step. A closer look may reveal they are working through life’s challenges. Though we each go through trying times, each person’s struggle is unique. Today’s blog covers a few helpful suggestions for those who are hoping to brighten a close friend’s day.

Give Them a Soft Place to Land

Realize you don’t know the whole story (and probably never will), but you can still lend your support in different ways. A good friend doesn’t require answers or explanations. Let them know you are unbiased and non-judgemental. Be the person in their life who encourages and listens, even when you don’t understand. Set aside the inclination to provide advice, opting instead to acknowledge their feelings and lift them up.

Laughter Makes the Best Memories

My childhood friend is one of my most valuable treasures. We were literally placed in the crib together to nap and play while our grandmother’s enjoyed a rousing game of afternoon cards. We have grown up together and have shared many good times. We have also shared some hardships along the way. These experiences, good and sad, are the glue to our long and lasting history. We were recently almost escorted out of a fast food restaurant for laughing so loud about a hamburger debacle. I lovingly say we are always one exit short of a disaster because her sense of direction and my GPS do not communicate very well. We have many hilarious stories that can only be appreciated when you experience them together.

Her mom, my mom and Laurie all wore the same wedding dress. I must have missed the memo! The famous flan recipe I have loved over the years is her mother’s. All of my life, until recently, thinking it was from my grandma’s kitchen. You may have a friend you have known all your life or someone you’ve only known a short time that your life would not be the same without. Either way, laugh OUT LOUD as many times as you can!

If you are really lucky, you have several friends, old and new who add life, love and value to your days. I do, and it takes work. Relationships aren’t fed by neglect.

Water Your Friendship Garden

Make a point of touching base with each friend, perhaps, selecting one or two people a month to meet for coffee, tea or a long walk. Being intentional about friendships and dedicating consistent time, if only for an afternoon or evening a month, will pay dividends in the long run. It could even be a playdate at the playground with your kids, a night out on the town, tackling a chore together, sharing a meal, taking a class, or any number of things.

Small Gestures Make the Difference

By now you know I am a big proponent of the handwritten note. I love this simple gesture for many reasons; sending a card doesn’t cost much time or money, but the impact on another person can be tremendous. Giving a person something tangible like a card means they’ll have something to hold onto and read over when they need a boost or virtual hug. Make a habit of picking up “Just Because” cards (and others) when you visit new shops or cities. Your collection will grow, and you will never be without the perfect note for any occasion.

You may also like Tips for Summer Fun with Friends. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow Diane on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.