Body Language Etiquette: 7 Gestures to Avoid

There are a host of factors that affect nonverbal communication. Ideally, your nonverbal cues reinforce your intended verbal message.

Body language cues include facial expressions, gestures, personal space, eye contact and appearance. As you can imagine, body language has a profound impact on how others perceive you. Psychology Today reports: “Microexpressions (brief displays of emotion that an individual tries to conceal), hand gestures, and posture register in the human brain almost immediately—even when someone is not consciously aware of them.”

Gestures play a role in the opinion others form about us. There is a fine balance to be found between constantly talking with our hands and lacking exuberance. One non-scientific tip that may be helpful is to imagine holding a box; try to keep your hand motions contained within those parameters.

In today’s post, I’m sharing seven gestures to steer clear of as you seek to make a positive impression.

Flailing Fan

We’ve all been to a sporting event where a fan violates personal space in a moment of excitement. Or worse, they display unsportsmanlike gestures. Be aware of public space etiquette as you respect others and exercise self-control.

Shrinking Violet

When we feel uncomfortable or unsure of ourselves, we tend to shrink our bodies inwards. Instead, try to keep your chin up and watch your posture (chest out, shoulders back). If you tend to minimize your presence at the conference room table, give yourself permission to take up space. On Inc.com, Jayson Demers refers to this as creating a “confident, authoritative presence.”

Awkward Handshake

The protocol for a handshake is to confidently extend your hand first. A delay in doing so can communicate a lack of assurance. Additionally, aim for a firm grip with two to three shakes.

Looking Away

Glancing down or over another person’s shoulder communicates disinterest. You may feel it’s just a few seconds, but in that small amount of time, an impression is made. Fight the urge to constantly check your phone by keeping it on silent and out of sight. Remember to make eye contact and politely excuse yourself when you need to.

Exaggerated Brows

Our brows can signal fear, worry or surprise when they are exaggerated. Or worse, we can appear as though we are trying too hard. Rest your forehead and relax your face for a more natural (and comfortable) signal.

Pursed Lips

We’ve all sensed an inauthentic smile; someone is smiling with their lips but their eyes are not involved. Similar to our brows, relaxing the face can help in delivering a more sincere smile. Another tip I heard from a photographer is to rest your tongue on the back of your front teeth.

Nervous Smile (or Laugh)

During uncomfortable moments, some of us have developed the habit of giving a nervous smile or laugh. One way to work around this habit is to take a few deep breaths and allow your mind some time to formulate what you’d like to say. Practicing being present in the moment will positively influence the quality of your life. Start small and strive to interact with intention and kindness.

You may also like The Halo Effect: How to Build or Break It. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow Diane on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.