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10 Etiquette Tips to Being a Gracious Roommate

25 Jul 2019 By: Diane Gottsman

With back to school just around the corner, college students and new grads are moving in with roommates as they prepare for a new semester or job. There is value in sharing experiences (and living quarters) with another person. Your bond will be enhanced when spending time together.

Roommate Etiquette | Friends Laughing

Here are some Roommate Etiquette Tips for students and young professionals; these may also be good points of conversation for parents who are a part of the process.

Choose Wisely

Just because you like someone doesn’t mean you can live with them. It’s probably not the best idea to share a dorm or apartment with your best friend if you want to stay BFF’s forever. The same goes for renting an apartment with a coworker. People tend to get on each other’s nerves after too much togetherness. Maintaining some distance from each other can make for a smoother relationship overall.

Discuss Ground Rules in Advance

By the time you move in, there should be no major surprises. Especially if you are sharing an apartment, determine how to split the bills, who gets the reserved parking spot and how many people will be responsible for paying the rent. Often times, there is an extra guest that stays over that was not part of the original agreement. Have an open discussion with your roommate on your comfort level of boy/girlfriends staying over for extended periods.

Respect Your Roommate’s Study Habits and Daily Routine

If your roommate needs complete quiet and you prefer listening to music while you study, figure out a schedule so you both can get your work done. Find nearby coffee shops and the local library for alternatives to studying in your dorm or apartment.

Don’t Buy a Pet Without Your Roommate’s Consent

You may decide you are lonely and want a cat, dog or lizard to keep you company. Unless it’s dorm approved or you have buy-in from your roommate and are willing to pay the pet deposit, stick to a stuffed animal or favorite blanket for added comfort.

Keep Up with Your Daily Chores

Basic cleanliness is expected when living with another person. Pick up your wet towels from the floor, make your bed every morning and wash your dishes after each meal. Your roommate has the same busy schedule you do, and they did not sign up to be your housekeeper.

Pay Bills on Time

If you have agreed to split the rent or pay for a portion of the food, don’t make your roommate wait for your share. Be timely when paying the monthly bills, and don’t come up with any excuses.

Don’t Eat Your Roommates Food Without Permission

If you didn’t buy it, it doesn’t belong to you. While some food may be considered community property, a special food item is off-limits to you unless offered. Assuming that everything in the fridge or pantry is fair game is dangerous territory.

Stay Out of Your Roommate’s Closet

Sharing space with your roommate is not like sharing space with a sibling. You can’t go into their closet and grab what you’d like to wear. If you do get the go-ahead from your roommate, make sure you return the item to their closet as soon as possible. But, only after you launder it and make sure it is in as good of condition as it was when you took it out of their closet. If it requires a trip to the laundry or the dry cleaner, do it right away so they will trust your expedient return the next time you ask. Beware of borrowing a favorite piece of clothing in the event you accidentally tear it or ruin it.

Make Safety a Priority

It goes without saying you won’t bring a stranger back to your dorm or apartment. Lock the door behind you, make sure all of the appliances are unplugged and the coffee pot and oven is turned off. Lower or raise the thermostat, which will help with conserving energy and the electricity bill. Let your roommate know when you don’t plan to come home. Otherwise, they may worry and won’t be able to keep respectful tabs on your whereabouts in case of an emergency.

Respect Each Other’s Personal Boundaries

Everyone has different preferences and pet peeves. Lay them all out on the table so you know what to expect. If your roommate is an early riser and you like to sleep until noon, discuss how you will accommodate both schedules. You might want to invest in earplugs, blackout curtains and a sound machine. Your roommate may end up purchasing a few outdoor chairs and enjoy their time on the balcony in the morning with a cup of coffee. Figure out what works for both of you. It will take time, but with effort, you will find a rhythm.

You may also like College Lessons Beyond the Classroom. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow Diane on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.

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Diane Gottsman

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.