If you spend time on social media, the idea is to have the experience add to, rather than take away from your day. As more data on social media use emerges, we’re learning more about both the therapeutic benefits and potential pitfalls of online communities.
With platforms evolving and algorithms changing, knowing you have the option to “mute,” “unfollow” and “unfriend” can change your feed for the better. Unfollowing or muting a friend or follower removes their posts from your feed but keeps the connection in place. Unfriending is more like a break-up; once you click that button, the online connection is broken (thankfully, not every online friend will notice they’ve been unfriended).
Keep reading for a social media Q & A. The video from this Fox 7 Austin segment is far below.
Unfriend or Unfollow?
Q: A casual acquaintance routinely posts pictures of his extravagant lifestyle which you know to be not nearly as fancy as he makes it seem. Your blood pressure boils every time you see a new post.
A: Unfriend. The operative word is “casual,” and they are also a bit of a fibber. Your blood pressure is going up, so you have to do what is best for you.
Q: Your ex’s family still keeps in touch on Facebook. Unfortunately, you also must see his new girlfriend and all of the fun adventures they are taking together. The problem is, you still really like your former mother in law.
A: Unfriend. You can keep up with your mother in law through texts or an occasional call – no need to be Facebook friends.
Q: A good friend believes that everyone loves her daily dinner recipes as much as she enjoys posting them – detail by detail. She starts early in the day and concludes after dinner clean up. You really like her but can’t stand her daily meal prep.
A: Unfollow? If the meals are never going to end, you should probably bite the bullet (or chicken leg) and unfollow her.
Q: Your grandmother comments on EVERY … SINGLE … THING… you post. She makes comments that should not be shared by anyone other than you.
A: Unfriend. You may have to “drop Grandma” if she keeps making embarrassing comments – but give her a chance to right her ways first.
Q: You have recently started dating someone after a painful breakup. You want to remain friends with your ex, but you aren’t really comfortable seeing the new girlfriend and your ex, or sharing your private life with her.
A: Unfriend. You can be friendly without being Facebook friends.
Q: Your boss used to be a good friend who got promoted along the way. The truth is you are a little bit jealous of her new title, along with the raise in pay, which has afforded her the opportunity to take trips and enjoy the nicer things. You don’t want to be rude, but you are feeling a little green.
A: Unfollow. You really shouldn’t be friends with your boss on social media.
Q: You were really close friends with this person, but you haven’t seen them in years. You still get holiday cards and the occasional invitation to a wedding or shower. You don’t keep up but don’t want them to think you don’t care.
A: Unfollow. Since you don’t want to potentially hurt their feelings, and they are pretty benign, unfollow rather than unfriend.
Q: Your girlfriend is constantly getting involved in multilevel marketing. She DM’s you with the latest pitch, and you feel compelled to buy something – shampoo, vitamins, protein powder, makeup, even though you know she will soon move on to the next get rich quick scheme.
A: Unfriend. If your friend asks, you can be honest and say you are inundated with pitches and you feel bad saying no. It’s easier to avoid the uncomfortable situation.
Q: A friend of a friend just had a baby, and the pictures are endless.
A: Unfollow. It’s probably temporary, and you can decide to unfriend later.
Q: You have a super athletic Facebook friend who is constantly posting skimpy pictures of herself. She offers healthy eating tips, but it’s more about showing off her cute athletic wear.
A: Unfriend. Unless this friend brings you value in some way, it’s not worth the aggravation of maintaining a friendship on social media or otherwise.
You may also like Six Positive Ways to Use Social Media. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on Huff Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.
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