If you have ever been on the receiving end of a grimace, scowl or remark when handing someone a gift, you know first-hand there is an art to graciously accepting an unwanted gift. The goal of the person receiving a gift is to react appropriately. Make sure you respond in a way that lets the giver know you genuinely appreciate the effort – even if the scratchy sweater or smelly hand cream is not your favorite.
Prepare Your Kids
The adage “It’s the thought that counts” is true. Exchanging gifts for many is a custom passed from generation to generation. Before Santa Claus comes to town or a swarm of gift-bearing relatives gathers around your tree, make sure your children know how to respond when they open a gift they don’t like or already own.
I shared my thoughts with HuffPost on how to teach your kids.
Identify who it’s from first. Upon opening the gift, look the giver in the eye and thank them with a smile. Even if it’s something you don’t like or it’s something you already own, the response is the same: a smile and sincere thanks. While it’s unrealistic to expect young children to follow a script, you can start to reinforce the value of a courteous gesture.
Put On a Happy Face
One statistic shows that 61 percent of Americans receive at least one unwanted gift over the holidays, with clothing, household items and fragrances ranking highest. This means the odds are good you are going to receive something you are not going to like or want at the next gift exchange. It’s not inauthentic to show a mustered level of enthusiasm for their generosity. Focus on the action and not the socks!
Avoid Negative Comments
When presented with a gift, some people become embarrassed and blurt out inappropriate responses. “You spent too much money.” “How am I going to use this thing?” “I told you not to get me anything – ugh!” These are just a few responses that readers have asked me to address this year. Keep in mind these not so eloquent receivers are feeling socially awkward and their response is a result of not knowing what to say. We should all remember that a misworded response puts a damper on the joy of giving.
Someone made an effort and spent money; now it’s time to accept it graciously in the spirit in which it’s given. Repeat: Smile and say “Thank you.” Go a little further by saying, “What a wonderful surprise.”
Reciprocate with Caution
If you are caught off guard and don’t have a gift to give in return, relax. You are not obligated to immediately return the gesture. It will make the situation even more awkward if you dash to the next room and dig up some random item that doesn’t reflect thoughtful planning.
Write a Thank You Note
Write it promptly – within a day or two of receiving the gift. A great thank-you can be just three or four sentences: the first one thanking them, the second and third ones explaining what the present means to you and how you will use it, and the fourth closing out with a goodbye and reiterating your appreciation, followed by your signature.
Enjoy
The holiday season is busy and often stressful. When you are sharing coffee, lunch or a quick visit with a friend, make it a goal to be present during the brief time you are together. Feel the love and appreciation others are attempting to show you with the ultimate gift – time.
For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on Huff Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.
Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
Instagram