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Diane Gottsman | Leading Etiquette Expert | Modern Manners Authority

Leading Etiquette Expert and Modern Manners Authority Diane Gottsman’s official blog, with Business Etiquette, University Etiquette, Social Media Etiquette, Dining Etiquette and more.

How to Politely Return Unwanted Gifts

03 Jan 2020 By: Diane Gottsman

The holidays have come to an end and you may find yourself with a closet full of unwanted items that you would want to return. You don’t have the room to store them and you don’t have the heart to toss them. Leading etiquette expert and modern manners authority Diane Gottsman shares 6 tips on how to politely return unwanted gifts without coming across as cold or thoughtless.

Unwanted Gifts

Give Yourself Time to Settle

In the frenzy of the moment, the gift might seem unnecessary. But, after some thought and exposure to a new item, you’ll find your new pocket knife will come in handy for opening all of your Amazon boxes and tightly taped packaging envelopes.

Look for a Gift Receipt

A thoughtful gift-giver will add a gift receipt to avoid the awkward “this doesn’t fit.”, or “it’s not my color.” situation. If the gift is expensive, and you know you won’t be able to use it or wear it, kindly ask the gift giver where they purchased it and politely inform them that you know you would like to select another style or item. It all depends on the relationship you share with the gift giver. If you are close and know they will understand, then go full steam ahead. If the person is sensitive and you know their feelings will be hurt, put the gift away and be thankful for their efforts.

Change Your Attitude

Once you are given a gift, it is yours to do with what you choose. While I don’t advise putting the gift on your neighborhood page to sell, or tossing a gift that can be used by someone else, consider donating an item that someone else will benefit from using. You can re-share the gift with a friend or family member, letting them know you received the gift and it’s not your particular taste.

Give Tactful Hints for Next Year

If you receive the same brown gloves year after year, let your friend know you have a beautiful collection of gloves currently. If you receive a shirt that is clearly the taste of the gift giver, but not your style, redirect them so they will get to know your taste. You can say something like, “Thank you for the belt you bought me last year. It was very nice, but I don’t wear cordovan often.” This will help the gift-giver when it comes to knowing your likes and dislikes.

Speak to a Store Manager

If you know where they bought it but don’t have a gift receipt, give a call to the store manager. Let them know you’d like to politely exchange the gift for something else and will take store credit. While you probably won’t receive cash back, you will likely get a credit to purchase something else. The holiday season is an excellent time to return but don’t wait too long. Merchandise changes with the season and return policies will likely be more stringent after the initial holiday return rush.

Post the Gift Giving Policy

This tip is for those not allowed to accept gifts due to a corporate policy. Though it’s very thoughtful of a client to remember you during the holidays, the company rules may prohibit you from accepting a gift. The best way to handle this is by being honest. When given a gift, let them know verbally. If the gift was delivered, you should send it back with a note saying you appreciate the thought but must adhere to a stringent gift-giving policy. “Susan, I appreciate the gift. Thank you for thinking of me. My company does not allow its employees to accept gifts. Thank you for your understanding.”

You may also like How to Receive an Unwanted Gift. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on Huff Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.

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Diane Gottsman

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.

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Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert, sought after industry leader, and owner of The Protocol School of Texas,
a company specializing in executive leadership and business etiquette training.

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