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Diane Gottsman | Leading Etiquette Expert | Modern Manners Authority

Leading Etiquette Expert and Modern Manners Authority Diane Gottsman’s official blog, with Business Etiquette, University Etiquette, Social Media Etiquette, Dining Etiquette and more.

Dealing With Strong Personalities in the Workplace

02 Mar 2020 By: Diane Gottsman

Strong personalities in the workplace can certainly make things interesting. When you think of someone as having a sharp or commanding personality, you may immediately think of someone who is abrasive, difficult and hard to get along within the office or in life. While this can be an accurate descriptor for some, having an Alpha personality doesn’t always lead to discord. Alphas tend to be domineering, and two or more in the offensive can lead to some “exciting” exchanges. How you deal with the dynamics is key to a productive work environment.

Strong Personalities

Handle Conflict with an Open Mind

Conflicts are going to happen, and it’s best to prepare yourself in advance. Your natural instinct is domination; your ideas are best; your way is the only way. Nope. Fight the urge to aggressively assert yourself as it leads nowhere and hurts the team. Influential leaders encourage and welcome new ideas. Commit to having an open mind, and to approach every potential conflict with a willingness to listen and compromise.

Fight Fair

Make your case with facts and logic and avoid getting personal or insulting. The last thing you want to do is come across as the office bully and stifle creativity and input from others. If you refuse to consider other options, you run the real risk of hurting morale. If you must confront a coworker, keep it low-level, behind closed doors, and strictly about the subject at hand. In the end, you are both on the same team, working towards the same goal.

When debating about work-related projects, give reasons and offer a compromise. “Here are three other companies that tried this marketing approach and failed. My strategy is more likely to work based on these statistics. I think this will be a mistake, but if this approach is what you feel is best, I’ll be glad to do my part.”

Learn to Accept Defeat Gracefully

If you’re passed over for a plum assignment or leadership position, it can be especially hard to swallow. It’s important to show civility by congratulating your peer and getting on with your job. Continue to do your best and realize your time will come.

Don’t Take it Personally

Take a deep breath and a step back when you feel yourself getting heated. You and your colleague have the same goals: pleasing the customer and making money for the business. Find a way to work together, and everyone wins when the best ideas rise to the top.

Know Your Boundaries

Grumbling about sour grapes can damage your reputation. It ultimately undermines your boss, demoralizes your team, and jeopardizes your job. Be positive, even if you feel disappointed or defeated. Don’t air your dirty laundry in the office, and especially not on social media. Unprofessional complaints on social media about your work, your coworkers, or your boss can hurt you far into the future.

Know When to Walk Away

When possible, keep a positive attitude and work toward an equitable resolution. Strong personalities are often intelligent, and it’s in everyone’s best interest to work it out—or agree to disagree. Employees are assets, and it is in the boss’s best interest to build an ethical, winning team. No one person can win every battle. In the long run, the real winners have to be the team, the business, and the customers.

However, some personality conflicts can never be resolved. If a dominant personality in your office is making your work environment unproductive with no resolution in sight, it may be time to move on.

You may also like 7 Non-Traditional Networking Opportunities. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on Huff Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.

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Diane Gottsman

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.

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Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert, sought after industry leader, and owner of The Protocol School of Texas,
a company specializing in executive leadership and business etiquette training.

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