Canceling Your Wedding Due to Coronavirus

Every bride dreams of her wedding day. Some have been planning it for years and others for a few short months. The showers have been thrown, the gifts from the registry are streaming in and the day is soon approaching. And then the coronavirus outbreak hit. For most couples, postponing the celebration in light of social distancing is a give-in. No one wants to put their loved ones in danger of possible exposure due to travel and proximity. It’s a difficult act of love for the couple to press the ‘abort’ button, even if only to postpone or reschedule. I know several families dealing with this dilemma and have been contacted by many others who are not sure what the “polite” thing to do is.

In a time of crisis, “polite” means doing the right thing for everyone concerned, even when it means canceling one of the most special days of your life. It’s a truly selfless act. But, the facts are the facts.

The CDC states on their website that large events and mass gatherings can contribute to the spread of COVID-19. Examples of these types of events include weddings, sporting events, concerts and festivals, conferences, parades and other types of assemblies. This includes events planned not only by organizations but also by communities and individuals.

On March 16, national guidelines were issued requesting the public’s help, limiting mass gathering to no more than ten people. So, what should you do when you must cancel a large celebration?

Let Your Wedding Planner Handle the Details

If you are lucky enough to be using a planner, they will be able to get the ball rolling and contact vendors and renegotiate contracts. Your vendors are most likely small business owners who are inundated with similar calls and struggling with their own issues. If you can’t cancel completely, be open to a backup plan. You may have decided you don’t want to reschedule, opting for a quiet ceremony with your parents and best friend. Read the fine print to determine how you are contractually and legally bound.

Make a Swift Plan to Inform Your Guests

Guests who were planning a trip have probably already decided to stay home but it’s important that everyone knows you are putting your wedding on hold. If you have a wedding website, this is the best way to keep everyone informed. This will give them time to inquire about hotel and airline refunds. For guests who aren’t as tech-savvy, put a plan in place for someone to make phone calls to ensure everyone is knowledgeable of the changes.

Keep the Gifts But Make Sure and Send a Thank You

A commonly asked question is what a couple should do with the gifts they have received from their registry. This is a unique situation and since the couple has received and possibly started using the gifts, a thank you note would not be out of line. Say something in the note about looking forward to seeing them as soon as the pandemic is over and you can make new plans. This is not a normal situation so standard protocol would not apply. If you were calling off your wedding unrelated to the coronavirus pandemic, you would send the gifts back ASAP.

Create a Letter

Under the circumstances, a letter from you would be in order. Even if it’s on the website, you should offer a form of explanation.

To Our Dear Family and Friends,

We are so sorry to have to postpone our wedding. We know many of you have gone through a great deal of trouble to schedule your weekend around our big day. Who would have ever thought we would be in the midst of such a frightening situation? Our decision to postpone such a special day was difficult for many reasons, but the health and safety of each of you comes first. Based on the CDC and WHO guidelines, we made the tough decision.

We will determine a new date soon and we look forward to seeing each one of you and giving you a heartfelt hug. Thank you to all of those who have sent us gifts. We will be sending each of you a thank you note. This is unchartered territory so we appreciate your understanding.

We love you and look forward to touching base with each of you in the upcoming weeks. We will also be sending you an update when we get past this current situation and things settle down.

With much love,
Susan and Brad

Keep the Faith

The day will come for your beautiful wedding and the circumstances surrounding it will be a conversation topic over many years of holiday meals. There will be a silver lining. But, in the meantime, you have the assurance that your decision was in the best interest of all concerned.

You may also like Finding Simple Pleasures While Staying Home. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on The Huffington Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest,  Instagram and Twitter.