As the pandemic continues to persist, people are getting antsy as they continue to quarantine. More and more invitations are starting to go out and will extend into the future. It’s important to know how to say “no thank you” if you aren’t ready to socialize. The guidelines are firm – continue to social distance and steer clear from large social gatherings.
What should you say if you encounter a situation where you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings but want to maintain space? Here are a few of my tips on a recent segment on Fox7 , Monday Manners, Good Day Austin, where we cover this topic.
Determine Your Risk
There are chronic health conditions that put some people at a higher risk than others, but, it’s not only the elderly and those with a compromised immune system who are contracting the virus. The decision to attend a function is personal and depends on several factors. Spending more than 15 minutes within 6 feet of another person increases your risk of contracting and spreading the virus. Where will the event be held (indoors or outdoors) and will there be a limited guest list? Will there be social distancing guidelines strictly enforced? Will masks be required and temps be taken? You have a right to ask these questions before making a decision.
Keep Your Response Upbeat
A “no thank you” does not have to come across offensively. Start with a positive remark, “It’s so nice to hear from you. Congratulations on your wedding. I won’t be attending due to the pandemic but can’t wait to catch up after things settle down. I know your ceremony will be beautiful and I’m sorry to have to miss it.” Short. Sweet. Polite.
Make It Clear that No Means No
If someone tries to change your mind or starts to debate your decision, stand firm but polite. “I appreciate your invitation but I am committed to limiting my exposure during this time. I wish you the best but I am going to have to pass on your thoughtful invitation.” There is no need to give a detailed account of why you are declining. As the person extending the invitation, respect the answer you are given and don’t put pressure or guilt on someone for choosing to hold back.
Don’t Invent a Story (Lie!)
It would be easy to make up an elaborate excuse to alleviate your awkwardness to decline an invite. Admittedly, when it comes to invitations, some are harder to avoid than others. If you are invited to someone’s home for dinner, for example, and you make up a false story, the person can offer an alternate date. You then have to come up with another excuse and there is no end in sight. As Mark Twain once said, “If you tell the truth, you won’t have to remember anything.” It will only sting for a moment and you will feel better being honest and upfront.
You Are Not Obligated to Uphold a Previous “Yes” to a Wedding Invitation or Other Event
If you accepted an invitation prior to COVID and the event was canceled, the new event is up for a different response or RSVP. Things have changed for everyone over the past few months and continue to develop day by day. The “yes” you gave to a wedding invitation several months ago can easily be different today, depending on the new date, your particular comfort level and your personal and financial situation. It’s a given that the responses will be different the second time around.
Send a Gift
Just because you opt-out of a ceremony or birthday celebration doesn’t mean you should skip sending a gift. If there is a registry, order soon and make sure the gift arrives before the event to let the couple know you are thinking of them. Drop a birthday gift off at the door (contact-less) or have it delivered before the birthday party. Making an effort to show your support will soften hurt feelings if there is some lingering tension.
You may also like Canceling Your Wedding Due to Coronavirus. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on The Huffington Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter.
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