How Weddings Have Changed During the Pandemic

Inviting guests to a wedding without making them feel pressured to attend is a common plight these days. While you want them to share in your special day, social distancing, travel restrictions and budget restraints are all factors for accepting an invitation to a celebration.

I recently spoke with Alix Strauss, The New York Times, about this topic. She addressed commonly asked questions and had a panel of experts weigh in. I routinely receive questions about how to navigate the choppy waters, from well-intentioned couples who don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but also have to make the hard decision to cut the guest list.

Is it acceptable to change up the guest list after postponing my first wedding ceremony due to the pandemic?

People are understanding. Social distancing will require couples to rethink their large weddings and most are uncomfortable taking trips right now. Many friends and family are struggling to keep their lives on track, juggling virtual school for their kids, a change in income and of high importance, concerns over safety.

Would it be rude to invite some people to the ceremony and not the reception?

Yes. If you are going to ask someone to attend the ceremony, it would be best to allow them to participate in the reception. Which, of course, takes you back to the social distancing dilemma. The CDC still discourages large in-person gatherings to help prevent the spread of coronavirus. Work with your event planner to make adjustments that will ensure the safety of each guest. Consider offering a virtual opportunity for those who want to attend but aren’t able to be there in person. Streaming has become an essential option in most wedding packages. And wedding planners, as well as venues, are proficient in technology.

Can I add a Zoom link to the invitation to make sure those who I want to share the day with are there in some fashion?

The easy answer to that question would have been a resounding “No” at different times. But, as I told The New York Times, standards have loosened due to the pandemic and if you are inviting someone who you would like to be there in person, but aren’t sure if they will attend, offer them an option. Include it on the RSVP card as in person, by Zoom or unable to attend. Make a call and let the guest know you would love for them to be there in person but are completely understanding if they won’t be able to attend.

How can I reassure my guests their safety will be a priority should they choose to accept our invitation?

If you have a wedding website, let your guests know you will be strictly following the CDC guidelines for social distancing. Give them details of how you plan to keep the celebration safe and respectful of health and wellbeing measures. Because of these uncertain times, I would even suggest a discreet line on the invitation that reads, “Social distancing and other health precautions will be practiced.” This gesture is an added form of assurance and hospitality to help your guests make a decision that is most comfortable for them.

You may also like Canceling Your Wedding Due to Coronavirus. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on The Huffington Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter.