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Diane Gottsman | Leading Etiquette Expert | Modern Manners Authority

Leading Etiquette Expert and Modern Manners Authority Diane Gottsman’s official blog, with Business Etiquette, University Etiquette, Social Media Etiquette, Dining Etiquette and more.

Virtual Tea Party Etiquette

13 Oct 2020 By: Diane Gottsman

Do you find yourself in a new season, longing for a trip to see the leaves and experience a little slice of fall? Although the pandemic still prevents many of us from traveling too far from home, we can all still have a fall celebration in the form of a virtual “Tea Party.” Invite your family members or a few close friends and host your own Fall Tea.

Tea

As for me, I have always loved Washington, DC. I lived there for several years and continue to visit on a regular basis. One of my favorite seasons to visit is in the fall, taking in the majestic foliage and fabulous museums and opportunities, along with multiple locations to enjoy an afternoon tea. I recently had the opportunity to have a virtual tea party with Mary Lesher, Programs Manager at Dumbarton House, a historic museum property located in charming Georgetown, DC. During the pandemic, they are offering a variety of virtual activities to keep you informed, entertained and inspired. I reached out to Mary because their offering of virtual tea caught my eye. We made fast friends via Zoom and decided to have our own tea party. Here are some ideas on how to host a virtual tea party, along with some beautiful pictures of our personal tea experience.

Set the Mood with the Invitation

The invitation will always establish the tone for the event. Make your first impression memorable by sending out the perfect invitation. Let your guests know what to expect regarding the theme (ours was a woodsy, fall occasion), along with a dress code if you want to make it extra fancy. Even though the celebration is virtual, you want to dress up for the occasion to show your host you are excited to be in attendance.

Tea

 

Select a Special Tea

If you have the time and budget, send each guest a special delivery of the tea you will be serving, along with a few simple recipe cards for tea sandwiches and perhaps a favorite soup. This will allow each guest to make the same food or come up with their own version if they choose.

I personally enjoy serving soup at my cooler weather tea parties and my favorite is Butternut Squash Bisque. It’s both beautiful and nutritious, and the subtle hint of cloves and cinnamon will put you in the mood for leaf-peeping. To make life easier for yourself, consider buying Panera Bread’s Autumn Squash soup. It’s delicious and is a mouthful of fall in every sip.

Feature a Favorite Treat

Mary made a special cookie called Tavern Cookie. She told a story and showcased the delicious confection. Here is Mary’s picture. I had pumpkin madeleines and enjoyed Dumbarton House tea. It smelled warm and cozy as if we were sitting out by the fire. It has a woodsy scent, perfect for the season.

Tea

Make Sure You are Familiar with Proper Tea Etiquette Rules

As with everything in life, there are certain guidelines that make any experience most enjoyable.

Here are my tea table tips to ensure your skills are on point. 

  •  Don’t confuse “High Tea” with a fancy occasion. The most formal tea is called “Afternoon Tea,” consisting of three dainty courses: savories, scones and tea sandwiches. You may add whatever else you would like, such as cake or a bowl of seasonal soup.
  • High tea is a heartier meal, generally served later in the day, between 5-7 pm. It’s great for the hard-working person who comes home from a busy day of labor, looking for a nourishing meal of substance.  
  • Table talk is not optional. Bring something interesting, inspiring and entertaining to the tea table. Refrain from any form of gossip, discourse or unkind chatter. There is great power in supportive words and positive conversation.   
  • Always break scones with the fingers; never cut with a utensil. Serve them with jam and clotted cream or butter. The jam goes on first, followed by the butter or cream.
  • An age-old debate, milk in first or milk in last? The answer is, milk is poured in after the tea to gauge the strength of the tea. 
  • Tea food is generally finger food; however, when serving cake or a sticky pastry, make sure to set a fork on the place setting for use. The same rule holds true for soup and chicken salad. Utensils must match the food you are serving.

Tea

Handwritten Gratitude is the Perfect Ending

For family members and good friends, taking the time to send a note reiterates your affection and appreciation for the other person. You can’t go wrong sending a note. When it comes to relationships, both social and in business, every little detail matters.

Mary sent me a delightful cookbook, which you can order on their website. You will find some great recipes.

As always, every season is more special when shared with family and friends!

You may also like 4 Tips to the Perfect Everyday Table Setting. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on The Huffington Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest,  Instagram and Twitter.

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Diane Gottsman

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.

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Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert, sought after industry leader, and owner of The Protocol School of Texas,
a company specializing in executive leadership and business etiquette training.

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