Christmas Eve Etiquette Q&A

In the middle of a world-wide pandemic, this holiday season brings a new level of challenges. No doubt, for most of us, Christmas Eve will look quite a bit different than in years past. I am sharing a few questions I have received regarding some common holiday quandaries. Keep reading for a Christmas Eve Etiquette Q&A.

Question:

I love sharing my special home-baked goodies with my friends and family but find it uncomfortable when someone asks me for my recipe. If I share it with them, it loses the appeal because now they can make it themselves and share my recipe with others. Is it rude for them to ask or is it ruder of me to withhold the recipe?

Answer:

It is a nice compliment for someone to ask for a recipe. It is an indicator that they enjoyed your gift. You have two choices. You can take the high road and share your recipe, or you can be honest and say you prefer to keep your favorite recipes to yourself so you have something special to share with your friends and family every year. The latter may leave you looking like a Scrooge, so the choice is up to you.

Question:

I enjoy dropping off baked items to my friends but this season is different with the pandemic in full swing. Is it more appropriate to deliver a purchased item or food product rather than a home-baked gift from the heart?

Answer:

This is an uncertain time for many people to accept home-baked goods. While your intentions are honorable, and the effort you would put into making your food products would undoubtedly be time-consuming and delicious, the safest bet is to have something delivered that is vacuum-sealed. Unless you know the person very well and they have requested something specific that you make in your kitchen, purchasing something versus making something is the safest route during COVID-19.

Question:

I have been recovering from shoulder surgery and have had several friends stop by for a visit without asking. They have all come bearing gifts but I am still uneasy inviting them into my house. We have been sitting outside, but I still feel tired and uncomfortable. Isn’t it rude to go to someone’s house unannounced?

Answer:

I am sure your friends had the best of intentions. However, it’s always a good idea to call before you drop in on someone. Especially someone who is recuperating from surgery during a pandemic.

Question:

Traditionally, I celebrate Christmas Eve with a couple of close family members but this year no one has mentioned any type of get-together. I’m not sure if it’s an accidental oversight or if they aren’t planning anything this year. It feels weird asking them one way or the other. What is the Christmas Eve etiquette around bringing it up?

Answer:

It is probably a very safe bet to assume your family members are not hosting a formal Christmas Eve celebration this year. If you are comfortable reaching out and have a close relationship, you may want to give them a call but don’t be surprised when they tell you they are skipping the party this year.

Question:

My gift giving list has been reduced significantly this year because of changes in my professional life. I usually gift and tip quite generously but plan on giving only to my immediate family and close friends on a smaller scale. Would it be rude to acknowledge the reason for the lesser dollar amount or say nothing at all?

Answer:

It is not necessary for you to make excuses for any gift that you give from the heart. On the contrary, it would be rude if someone brought the topic up in conversation, mentioning the smaller dollar denomination.

Question:

Everyone is planning for a family Zoom call this holiday and I’m just not feeling it. We get on these calls and they drag on for days. Is it rude to skip them entirely the next time I’m invited (which will be Christmas Eve) or can I just jump off after 20 or 30 minutes?

Answer:

Yes, it’s true. Zoom calls can go on and on and on. It would be best if you were a participant in a family Christmas Eve zoom celebration. I suggest you talk to the host of the event and let them know you may be popping off earlier, or propose to have a pre-planned stop time that is not as lengthy.

Question:

Is it rude to invite someone to open presents with your family over a Zoom call? My brother and sister and in-law plan on having their son Zoom in with all of us this holiday and I think it’s going to be confusing and uncomfortable since he has only one present under the tree from us. Would it be rude to say something to my sister or stay quiet and keep the peace?

Answer:

Many people enjoy being present virtually with their family and friends, especially over the holidays. It is not rude to invite someone to be on a Zoom call when the rest of the family is opening presents, but it can get a little confusing if you don’t include that person in the festivities and they have to struggle to see what’s going on. Regarding talking to your sister about whether her son should be part of the gift giving celebration, it’s a risk. Keep in mind that this is her son and she wants to include him—even if inclusion means watching through a computer screen.

You may also like Holiday Office Gift Giving. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on The Huffington Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter.