We are all feeling the pinch of the pandemic and how it has taken a real toll on everything from our work life to the ability to make and keep friendships strong. From wedding etiquette to corporate branding, I receive so many questions consistently on how to meet and maintain authentic relationships. It’s no surprise the answer is: It’s hard work. The effort is not uncomfortable but is definitely a commitment to reaching out and making things happen. I wrote an article in Huff Post a few years back and coincidentally, the words are even more true today. Adjusting the tips for social distancing and staying safe during the pandemic, there is still much you can do to create and build on relationships. Keep reading for my thoughts on how to connect with others in unusual times.
Find People With Common Interests
Yes, these suggestions will sound like dating tips, but they are remarkably similar. Just as you must connect with a love interest, you need something that clicks as a friend. You will have a better chance of getting along if you enjoy a few of the same interests.
Start cautiously, however. “Me too!” and “OMG, I do that too!” and “So do I!” doesn’t mean you are destined for a long term friendship. A friend of mine described it perfectly. He said, sometimes when you start off on fire, you fizzle out just as quickly. So true. Gradual disclosure and trust are a much better and safer option.
Be Consistent
If you want to meet new people, and connect with them, stick to it. Make an effort and set a goal of meeting someone new each week. Find events to attend, RSVP to opportunities you may otherwise overlook, smile at people at the grocery store (not to be confused with flirt with people—but if you are single, feel free to do that too). Keep your eyes open for occasions to get out of your comfort zone.
You can be sure you won’t meet anyone new sitting in your pajamas, reading How to Win Friends and Influence People for the fourth time. Routinely attend workshops, classes or a monthly supper club where people will get to know you and you will naturally build a bond.
Work on Yourself
Take some time to connect with yourself. It’s your job to be interesting. Not fake or overly gregarious, but at least well versed in what is going on in the world. Unfortunately, what is happening in the news lately is uncivil and volatile and not something you want to build a conversation around as a regular topic. It’s up to you to be relatable and responsive to others. When you put people at ease, they are more willing to drop their own guard and give you a chance. Smile genuinely, ask thoughtful questions and follow up. It might not be an instant friendship kismet, but you can determine if you are a friendship-fit over time.
Speak Positively About Others
When you speak highly of others, people will remember you as confident and warm. Avoid building a relationship around gossip or drama (this is not a productive way to connect with others). Make a habit of finding the good in other people and sharing it often. You will come across as someone others will want to spend time around. Negative people are seldom looked upon as assets to the group.
You may also like Tipping the Delivery Driver. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on The Huffington Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter.