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Diane Gottsman | Leading Etiquette Expert | Modern Manners Authority

Leading Etiquette Expert and Modern Manners Authority Diane Gottsman’s official blog, with Business Etiquette, University Etiquette, Social Media Etiquette, Dining Etiquette and more.

Friendsgiving Etiquette and Fall Party Checklist

04 Nov 2021 By: Diane Gottsman

Friendsgiving is the perfect excuse to get together with friends you haven’t seen in a while. There is no official date for this special celebration, but it is usually held before the actual day of thanks, as an additional good reason to have a fall party. Here are a few Friendsgiving etiquette tips and ideas for starting your own annual tradition. Keep reading for a printable Friendsgiving Checklist near the end of this post and enjoy!

Friendsgiving etiquette | Table overhead with pumpkins and plates of Thanksgiving food, friends making a toast

Friendsgiving Etiquette

Make the Guest List and Send Out the Invitation

The time is now to decide who you will be inviting to your fall fling. Generally, friends make up the guest list, especially those who may not have family nearby for the real celebration. There are no Friendsgiving etiquette rules around the number of invitees—the more the merrier if you have the space and the budget. The ideal time to send out an invitation is three weeks before the feast, so time is of the essence as T-day quickly approaches! Whether you choose an electronic invitation or a handwritten card, always request an RSVP so you can get an accurate headcount.

Plan the Menu

The food can be traditional—turkey, dressing and all of the sides—or a low-key taco fest or lasagna party. If you would like some help, don’t hesitate to ask your friends to contribute their favorite dish. Just make sure there are no repeats, or you may have an overload of vegetables while still missing dessert and the main course. Generally, the host provides the main course, and guests may join in with a side dish, bread, cocktails and a sweet treat. A Friendsgiving etiquette reminder that applies when hosting any gathering: the host should inquire about any serious food allergies or diet restrictions. If a guest has something specific, they may choose to bring their own dish, and enough to share with the group.

Utilize What is in Your Fridge and Cabinet

This might be a good time to reach for your canned and frozen foods that are still good, but you haven’t found an opportunity to use them. So many people buy groceries and then waste them because they forget what is in their own pantry. Cans of beans and taco seasoning can make an easy chili or taco soup. Frozen hash browns and a bag of cheese are perfect for a delicious and festive hash brown casserole. You will feel better knowing you have used good food and not wasted what is sitting in your cupboard or fridge.

Avoid Double Dipping

For now, since we are still in the process of maintaining caution due to the virus, avoid big batches of food items where you have to “dig (cut veggies) and dip.” Instead, make individual dip cups, and serve appetizers that can be cut into squares and placed on a plate to eat. Not everyone is going to be sensitive, but there will be people who are still very observant of shared foods. Use serving spoons, tongs, toothpicks and forks when serving items to share.

Create a Food Inventory List

To make it easy on everyone, pre-assign drinks, sides, paper products and even an extra main course to each guest. If there are more guests than foods needed, ask for a bottle of wine or sparkling water from each guest to make sure you have plenty of libations.

Set the Table a Few Days Early

It’s not important to have everything matching. Pull out plates, glasses, serving pieces and napkins. Do a count and see what you are missing. Borrow extras from a friend and wash them and send them back after Friendsgiving is over.

Focus on the Centerpiece

If you are sitting at a long table, a couple of edible centerpieces would be a fun conversation starter. Include several different kinds of cheese, individual stems of grapes and assorted fruit, dried meats and a variety of crackers. Multiple serving pieces on each elevated stand can double as a beautiful arrangement.

Conversation Starters are Fun

Some people may feel awkward sitting next to someone they don’t know. Pre-arranged conversation starters are helpful in getting the ball rolling. Either buy a pack on Amazon or Etsy or print out a few of your own and tape them under the bread plate. Each person asks the question they are given, and you go around the table and answer individually. Make sure all guests are included and aim for generic, non-invasive questions.

Send Them Home with a Reminder of the Day

On the way out the door, hand each guest a small treat to remind them of how much you appreciate them sharing the day with you. From a bottle of wine to a special bottle of olive oil, make sure there is a gift tag and a short note of gratitude for their presence.

Free Download/Printable: Friendsgiving Checklist

Click on the image above to access your free Friendsgiving Checklist (printable/download)

I’d love to see your take on Friendsgiving; tag me on Instagram @dianegottsman or post on my Facebook page.

Be sure to check out The Protocol School of Texas. You may also like A Friendsgiving Place Setting Guide. Read Diane’s posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on The Huffington Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. 

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Diane Gottsman

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.

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Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert, sought after industry leader, and owner of The Protocol School of Texas,
a company specializing in executive leadership and business etiquette training.

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