Mother’s Day In Our Family

Mother’s Day is a bittersweet journey for our family as we navigate new waters with my mom—my kids’ grandmother—who is struggling with dementia. At 83 years young, she lives in a wonderful care facility where she is lovingly cared for by kind and considerate attendants. I know this is not what most people might say when talking about a nursing facility, but I love ours, and I am grateful for their attention to every detail when it comes to keeping my mother happy.

If your family is also in a position where a higher level of care may be required for a loved one, I hope that today’s blog is helpful and encouraging. You may also find this AARP article covers so many essential points. Keep reading for a few things my family looked for in finding the right care for mom after multiple attempts at different facilities.

Finding the Right Care For Mom

A Pretty Room Is Not Enough

While a perfectly appointed apartment may be what you ultimately look for, it’s simply not enough, especially when you have a loved one who requires special assistance and assistance around the clock. There are many checks to mark off, such as a safe environment, a well-trained staff that communicates with the family, an engaging and happy activity calendar and good food. Yes, my mom loves to eat! (Like mother, like daughter)

The facility should be well equipped with the essentials in case of an emergency, while still feeling like home. One example is a warm and welcome living room where residents can enjoy activities, along with clean and well kept furniture that doesn’t feel like a hospital.

A Friendly Staff Is Essential

The patient should always come first. If you see attendants distracted and on their phones, rather than taking care of a family member and attending to their needs, don’t hesitate to voice your concern in a kind and respectful manner. It may be an isolated incident, or it could possibly be a pattern that should be addressed. We are very fortunate to have a constant staff that hasn’t experienced a large turnover. The workers are friendly, my mom is always happy, smiling and clean, and her physical appearance, hair and nails are always perfectly kept. She wears a little bow in her hair which she loves and is so proud to show off. The key for my family is that my mom loves the staff. She lights up when she sees them walk through the door. You notice this when wanting the best for your mom (or family member).

The Variety and Quality of Food Matters

The food should be well balanced and nutritious and elicit the feel of home and familiarity. Customs and culture should be a consideration, along with an environment of eating that promotes a warm and satisfying feeling. Options should be available when appropriate, and there is always room for dessert! When making an informed decision about your loved one’s care, ask if provision is in place for limited functioning fingers and those with challenges. The table should be set with dignity, and ample time should be given to eat the meal.

Let’s Dance!

For those suffering from dementia, careful programming is key to keeping the resident both happy and safe. Activities are designed to encourage purposeful interaction, ranging from art projects, movement and exercise. Does the facility offer seasonal events and celebrations? Activities are therapeutic, and the benefits are noticeable. The goal is to watch your mom thrive under difficult circumstances, and every smile matters when you are caring for a loved one with dementia. Fortunately, I found our home, but if you have not, keep looking. Don’t settle.

You may also like our Mother’s Day Inspiration blog. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and The Huffington Post.