Wedding Season Etiquette for the Happy Couple and Their Guests

It’s wedding season; there are vows to exchange, cakes to decorate and toasts to write. We are receiving wedding etiquette questions from happy couples and their guests. A mannerly refresher for all involved in the grand affair is always in style. If you are planning your own wedding or attending a friend’s, here are some tips on being the perfect bride, groom and wedding guest.

Wedding Season Etiquette Tips For the Happy Couple:

A Wedding Website Is Your Friend – Use It

Use a wedding website to remind your guests of all the details—the invitation is not enough. Avoid a slew of texts and phone calls leading up to the big day with your personalized website, which spells everything out from what time to arrive and what the dress code really means to where to park and how far you will need to walk to the venue.

Don’t Invite Mickey and Minnie Unless You Can Also Afford the Food – Guests’ Comfort Comes First

Did you hear about the couple who spent their wedding food and drink budget on having Mickey and Minnie come to their wedding for pictures? They left their guests hungry so they could afford to pay the costumed characters to take photos at their wedding. While an overflowing cash bar may be hard on the budget, offering a certain spirit, or a specialty beer, and then allowing guests to purchase other cocktails saves on costs but still provides a cold libation and gives the appearance of an open bar.

The bride and groom should always consider their guests first when inviting and hosting them at their wedding and the reception. Mickey and Minnie would be disappointed to know their fellow wedding guests didn’t eat or drink on their account.

Create a Registry but Avoid Asking for Cash

A gift registry makes it so much easier for a guest to find a gift that works within their personal budget. While many couples already have almost everything they need, it’s still awkward to straight out ask for cash instead. Close family can certainly be told that money would be greatly appreciated, and if someone asks, you can be polite and direct by saying, we have a very small registry because we don’t want to waste anyone’s money. We are saving for a new ______ (insert item here), so if you would be open to a small check or cash, we’d greatly appreciate the help. But, only if someone asks. Never put a “Call for Cash” on an invitation.

Make Out of Town Guests Feel Special

A welcome box is a special detail that will go a very long way in showing an out-of-town guest you appreciate their efforts. Pull together a variety of local treats, a map of the nearby sites and a note welcoming them to the area. If there are children in tow, leave a few goodies for the kids and a couple of mini bottles of Prosecco for caregivers to calm the travel nerves.

Timing Is Everything

One thing that can ruin the fun for your guests is making them wait too long between the wedding and reception, especially if the ceremony is long and the guests are ravenous. When the guests arrive at the reception after the ceremony, have a short cocktail hour where they can have a few appetizers and a drink (or two) while waiting for the wedding party to take photos. Don’t make your guests wait too long, or they may overindulge before the reception gets started. Keep the gap between both events as short as possible (one hour is too long).

Wedding Season Etiquette Tips For the Guest:

Don’t Skip the Receiving Line

Not every wedding will have a receiving line, but if they do, don’t skip it. Walk through the line without a drink in your hand, and don’t say more than a quick “Congratulations” as you continue to move through the line. This is the time to show your friends you are present and accounted for in case they don’t see you the rest of the night. If you have brought an invited guest, make sure they also go through the line and introduce themselves to the couple, thanking them for the opportunity to share their special day.

Don’t Show Up With an Uninvited Guest

Unless their name was on the invitation, you can assume the invitation was meant specifically for one person. If your babysitter falls ill at the last-minute, text a family member of the bride and groom and let them know you have had a last minute emergency and will not be able to attend the wedding. It’s disappointing but the best of all options unless you can find a trusted substitute to watch your child/ren. This rule also applies to a “plus one” date.

Dress Appropriately

White and ivory are still off-limits when it comes to wedding attire unless you are the bride. Black is not a bad option if the dress is festive and ceremony appropriate.

Keep Your Conversation Short and Sweet

The couple has many guests to greet, and monopolizing their time with more than a few words of congratulations would be rude. Plan on speaking to the bridal couple only once during the night, and anything more than that will be a welcome treat.

Stay Until the Cake Is Cut

You may be tired and want to leave, but it is still rude to depart before the cake is cut and a toast is made to the happy couple. Even though you think they won’t notice, you don’t want to take the chance of hurting their feelings or looking as if you were bored.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas.

For more wedding season etiquette tips, refer to Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette: Commonly Asked Questions. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost.