Responding to Emails and Texts: Technology Etiquette

We are living in a world where we can reach anyone, anytime simply by hitting “send.” Southern Living recently interviewed me regarding how late is too late to send a text or email. The answer is that it all depends on your recipient. Some people are not available to communicate during the day, and it’s a courtesy to reach out during their non-peak hours. Others would be alarmed by the ding of a late-night notification when they forgot to silence their phone but need their rest to make their 5 am spin class. Yet another technology etiquette conundrum is how prompt should you be responding to emails and texts without looking rude, and what is the best approach when you forget to write back and two days have come and gone? How do you determine the rules? Keep reading for my technology etiquette recommendations.

Responding to Emails and Texts: Rules to Follow

Business Emails

In a perfect world, you should respond to a business email within a couple of hours, and certainly within the same workday. If you are planning to be out of the office for an extended length of time, create an out-of-office message so the sender will know what to expect. It should say something similar to, “Thank you for your email. I will be out of the office from (date) to (date) and will not be available to check my messages. If you need immediate assistance, please contact XXX for assistance. I will follow up when I return and look forward to speaking with you soon.”

Don’t give too much information or attempt to be funny, such as “I am on a tropical island drinking rum from a coconut. I am dizzy drunk and can’t read this message.” It’s not humorous or professional. This message was straight off an out-of-office message I once received, with my edits to make it less offensive than the original.

Texting Etiquette

The same rule applies to texts unless a friend or family member with a non-emergency need knows you are often away from your phone. A time-sensitive text warrants a response as soon as possible, but a text to check in can wait until later in the day. Keep in mind, the average text will be read within 3 minutes after being sent, and a typical response will be sent back within 90 seconds.

When Is It Too Late to Text?

If the text can wait until tomorrow, hold off. If you can see the moon out your window, it’s generally too late to send a work text unless it’s a true emergency. If you are sipping a cup of tea and the kids are asleep, and you want to catch up with your mom, give her a call instead of a text. She will want to hear your voice.

How to Set Polite Boundaries

If you find your friends or family getting offended with your lack of response, there’s a solution. Let your friends know you aren’t available to chat during the workday and will respond when it’s convenient. You may have small children at home or a busy office schedule, and it’s not necessary to give your friends or family members specific reasons for setting your daily calendar. Some people use their lunch break to return calls, but it also may bite into a short period of time to relax and catch their breath before a busy afternoon.

When Confused – Ask Your Boss for Clarification

If you have an employer who texts or emails at night, they may not be expecting a response. Some people do their best work when they are in the shower or listening to music after hours and don’t want to miss an opportunity to forget their thoughts. Using “schedule send” in Gmail is helpful if this is you! It’s unrealistic to expect an employee to be available after hours unless it is part of the job description. Ask your boss if they expect a response or if the non-emergency text can wait until the next day. You will feel better and have a more restful evening if you are not stressed about what your next step should be when receiving after-hours communication from someone in the office. Of course, good judgment prevails, and if it’s an emergency, don’t hesitate to respond.

And What to Do If You Forgot to Respond?

It’s never too late. Reach out and let the person know you simply had a lapse and apologize for the delay. It is much better to hear from someone (you) late than avoid them and risk damaging your reputation and the relationship. Being honest about forgetting to respond is a character builder and will go a long way when it comes to understanding why they didn’t hear from you.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas.

You may also like Social Media Etiquette Refresh: Putting Your Best Foot Forward. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost.