One of the most frustrating details a wedding planner must deal with is not hearing back (RSVP) from guests in a timely manner. Traditionally once the invitation arrives, many people will respond right away, with second-tier responses coming in a little slower within the next month. Then… There are crickets. These guests are still on the fence, shopping for a better option, have misplaced the invitation or forgotten. Today’s blog covers wedding RSVP etiquette Q&As, including the appropriate timeline for sending back an RSVP.
Commonly Asked Wedding RSVP Etiquette Questions
Q: What is the grace period for an RSVP?
A: When a guest receives an invitation, they should send a response back within a week. A week leaves room to look at the calendar, determine your schedule and decide if it fits in your timeframe and budget. Once you decide, having checked the price of flights and hotel fees, respond asap. This is why you have a bit more grace period than you would with another social invitation.
Q: What should determine my RSVP deadline?
A: The caterer will want an accurate headcount to ensure they have plenty of food and drink, so it is important to set the deadline with enough time. Plan to have an RSVP deadline of 3 to 4 weeks before the event.
Q: May I call a guest who has not responded?
A: Absolutely. Select someone who will make the call with a pleasant voice to ask your guest, first of all, if they received the invitation. Then ask if they plan on attending and say something pleasant like, the happy couple are looking forward to seeing you. The guest may say they are still uncertain or have to speak with their partner if they have lost the invitation. Ask for a response within 24 hours to get an accurate headcount.
Q: The RSVP date is eight weeks out. Does a guest still have to respond within the first week?
A: Even though there is a long period between receiving the invitation and the due date to respond, sooner is always better than later, and the bride and groom will appreciate your prompt response—so will the wedding planner!
Q: As a guest, can I add a special request to the RSVP?
A: If your special request is asking if you can add a plus one, avoid the urge to break the protocol. Unless you think it is an oversight because they omitted your married partner, they may be watching the headcount and are keeping the guest list to a minimum.
Q: May a guest RSVP by email rather than using the card?
A: Traditionally, RSVPs arrived through USPS but for efficiency’s sake, an email will suffice—only if it is an option on the RSVP card. Always respond in the manner in which the couple requested. Don’t assume if you tell the parents verbally because you run into them at the grocery store, they will pass along the message. Sending your RSVP formally in writing demonstrates consideration.
Q: When planning a destination wedding, how long should I give my guests to respond?
A: Since it takes more time, effort and money to attend a destination wedding, you should allot a longer window of time. Typically, 2 to 3 months is an appropriate time frame where your guests can determine whether they can attend your wedding.
For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas.
You may also like 8 Things Brides Forget When Planning Their Wedding. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost.
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