Encouraging a No-Phone Zone at the Holiday Table

For many families, preparations for fall gatherings are underway. The guest list and menu are taking shape, and everyone is looking forward to spending time together and savoring the flavors of the season. If your home is entertaining headquarters, you’re likely going through favorite decorations and sprucing things up when inspiration strikes. From a casual fall brunch to a full-on holiday dinner party, your guests are likely to have their cell phones in the room and in the mix. If you are feeling the nudge to encourage everyone to pause their screen time and focus on being present at the table, we’ve pulled together a few pointers. Keep reading for our recommendations for creating a no-phone zone at the holiday table.

How To Encourage a No-Phone Zone at the Holiday Table

No Surprises

At a family dinner night, everyone should know your expectations in advance. Share with family members that dinner will be served in 15 minutes and give them ample time to take care of personal “business” before arriving at the table. This reminder allows everyone the opportunity to finish their game, find a good place to pause their podcast or audiobook, or close a group chat with their friends. Of course, they would not be doing any of this if it were a holiday gathering, but for a day-to-day meal, this allows people to manage their time before taking a seat at the table.

Request/Suggest Their Phone Be Placed on Silent or Do Not Disturb

As the host, especially when you have planned and executed a special holiday meal, you want everyone to be present – mind and body. You may politely suggest that guests put their phones on silent or Do Not Disturb as they gather together to break bread (and keep it on for the duration of the meal). This gesture shows respect for the host and is always appreciated, whether requested or not. A gracious guest will do so without hesitation. It also removes the temptation to check your phone if you hear or feel it vibrate.

Don’t Expect Miracles

Both children and adults will eventually become weary of endless stories about people they do not know. Keep the conversation lively and make sure everyone has a chance to share something about themselves. Younger children especially are going to get antsy, and allowing them to excuse themselves to watch a short holiday movie after dinner, instead of being expected to sit quietly while listening to one more of uncle Ed’s endless stories, may be appropriate after a certain length of time.

The Phone Is Not the Villain

We all rely on our cell phones, from work, to entertainment, to connection with friends and family. Using good judgment regarding when and where we reach for our device is what matters. The host (or mom or dad) can implement a “cell-free zone” at the dinner table. It’s not an unreasonable request and will set the standard for what you expect. It will soon become a habit. This rule can apply to day-to-day meals as well as at the holiday table.

Forget the Basket

While a phone basket may seem like a good idea at first glance, it feels punitive and sets the wrong tone. Focusing on the mental health and social benefits of reducing screen time is a gentler approach, especially considering everyone—adults and children—struggles with the draw of devices. You may also have a little fun with the challenge by placing a jar on the table; anyone who reaches for their phone owes $1 (or whatever amount feels right to you). Then, when the jar is full, use the money for some screen-free, family fun!

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

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