Musings on A Cup of Christmas Tea

The Christmas season is upon us, and we are all ready for a holiday celebration. What better way to gather than hosting a get-together with family and friends? Some people enjoy evening cocktail parties, while others prefer a short but meaningful visit to accommodate their holiday calendar. The time-honored tradition of tea is the perfect way to catch up with good friends and loved ones, this month and always. It can be as simple as offering a little piece of pound cake and a tea bag in a cup or as elaborate as a multi-course affair. There is no right or wrong way to share a cup of tea with someone (or many people) you love. Surprisingly, however, this blog is not about tea etiquette. Well, maybe a little bit! But mostly, we’re focusing on the importance of time well spent. I have several holiday books I cherish, and one of my favorites is A Cup of Christmas Tea by Tom Hegg.

Hegg shares the story of a busy young man’s hesitation to visit an elderly aunt when he receives an invitation. He has many reasons for not wanting to go, but coaxed by his family’s insistence and his own guilt, he finally gives in. His reluctance quickly turns to joy as he watches his great-aunt open the door. How happy his aunt is when he arrives and, surprisingly for the boy, memories of Christmas past suddenly come alive with the scent of candy oranges, cinnamon and pine, the porcelain nativity and so many more moments.

His spirit soars, and he falls deep into a magical Christmas spell. The boy inside the man comes alive. He notices how his aunt keeps her Christmas cards from years past from the children in a special place of honor. She asks questions and is still very interested in his life, wanting to know everything. Poignantly, his great-aunt speaks with grace about her life and her clearly failing health. Everything about this particular visit and the cup of tea they share is rich with sentiment. He notices the beat of his aunt’s footsteps and the way she uses her crutch as she walks over and pours two cups of tea, handing one to him as they settle in to enjoy A Cup of Christmas Tea.

There is much more to this book, but it is certainly worth a read. I bought my copy when my children were much younger, and I am more connected to it now than ever before. I remember buying a teacup with the book on it, and I’m going to go search and find it to display this year.

What a special story and a beautiful lesson in the value of taking time to enjoy family and favorite traditions, honoring the memories made throughout the years as we continue to make more as the years pass by.

Here are a few more thoughts that I offer to encourage you to enjoy the holiday season and make it memorable for those you love.

Musings on A Cup of Christmas Tea

Get In the Picture

Guilty as charged! I am the first to make a slew of excuses for not being in a family photo. “My hair is a mess.” “I’m not dressed right for a picture.” “Oh my gosh, I look so tired!” “I’m not wearing makeup.” The list goes on and on, and you can fill in the blanks for your excuses, but the reality is, looking back through my kids’ pictures as they have grown, I wish I was in more of the photos and not behind the camera. There is no longer an excuse with self-timers on our phones.

Bring Back Old Fashioned Photo Albums

I have noticed that in many bookstores and novelty shops this year there are more and more photo albums for sale. It’s great to keep pictures on your phone or computer, but what a wonderful gift idea to give family members a few photos of moments throughout the years. As a matter of fact, this year, I plan to make photo albums for each of my kids using pictures from Christmas past and other momentous and non-momentous occasions. The idea is to give them something tactile to hold, that they can physically pick up and flip through with delight. It will elicit a flurry of laughter and conversation and create new memories.

My son, Jonathan, recently moved into his own home. He sent me a few childhood pictures saved in an old camera. They weren’t necessarily anything notable we all were doing, just time we spent together as a family. It made me realize how important it is for our children, and other family members, to look back and reminisce over everyday and significant moments. The young and not-so-young love to go back and remember.

Don’t Save the Good Stuff for Company

We often avoid using our fine China or good linen or crystal glassware because we don’t want it to get damaged. In reality, we should pull out all of our beautiful items, those most near and dear to us, and share them with our family. Every day is a celebration when we are enjoying each other’s company. What are you waiting for? What am I waiting for?

I have several sets of Christmas dishes and seldom use more than one set each holiday. This year, I brought them all out and placed them on a standalone shelf in my dining area to make it easy to reach for them and set the table. I am committed to using all of them by rotating them throughout the season. Rather than waiting for “company” to come over, I realize my best company of all is my family and close friends.

If you need a holiday refresh for setting the table, I hope the diagram below is a great help.

Burn the Candles

The same holds true of beautiful candles that we save from year to year because we’re afraid to burn them. They are either too pretty or too expensive to burn, so we avoid using them. This Christmas, turn on the music, light the candles and create a signature scent that the kids, young and old, will learn to identify as the “holiday scent” when they walk through your door.

Start New Traditions

Family memories and holiday traditions are seldom established “on purpose”. They are things we do year after year without thinking about it that become part of the yearly ritual. Over time, the family comes to rely on the same comforting traditions and looks forward to them each holiday.

As families grow and change, it’s important to continue to adapt and bring in new traditions which include the new family members. Ask them what they find special and incorporate it into your rituals and routine. It’s a wonderful way to build goodwill and make new family members feel comfortable.

Spend Time with Family While You Can

The book, A Cup of Christmas Tea, shows us how precious time is and reminds us to share it with someone we love. Life goes by quickly, and in a blink of an eye, everything can change. Don’t wish you had done more, do it now. Take tons of pictures, and don’t forget to “get in them”.

Smile even if your hair is not perfect and you aren’t camera ready. Get in them if you aren’t feeling your best or you want to change your jeans. No one will care in a few years when they are looking back and remembering the time you spent and the moments you lived together.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

You may also like Holiday Road Trip Must-Haves for December Adventures. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost.