Relationships and romance are in the spotlight in February, as many couples select the month to tie the knot. When researching the popularity of February weddings, I came across a beautiful description from Saphire Event Group: “February can be a highly desirable wedding month for many couples, largely because it has the flavor of the winter season, while also hinting at the forthcoming spring.” Those preparing to celebrate a special bride often ask, “Is there a difference between a wedding shower and a bachelorette party?”
In short, the answer is yes. Keep reading for more insight and a batch of bachelorette party etiquette Q & As.
Bachelorette Party Etiquette: Q & A
How is a bridal shower different from a bachelorette party?
Bridal showers were historically meant to “shower” the bride with advice and gifts that she would need and use in her future married life. The event includes family, friends and out-of-town guests, and the festivities are a bit milder than the traditional bachelorette party.
The bachelorette party (the last hurrah!) is a pre-wedding gathering, generally with your best friends, to have a bit more of a lively adventure before getting married. Some parties are wilder than others! From a weekend at the beach to a bar crawl downtown, each bride enjoys a different type of party. The festivities should reflect the taste of the soon-to-be bride.
Neither one of these parties should include anyone not invited to the wedding.
Who hosts a bachelorette party?
The maid of honor and her attendants typically coordinate the party and are responsible for the decorations and the swag bags to go home with each guest (they don’t necessarily host the entire event).
The cost is split among the guests and the bride, who is not expected to chip in, although depending on everyone’s budget, the bride can certainly host a lunch or pay for dinner, hotel rooms or whatever she is willing to pay for and can afford at a destination bachelorette party.
Make expectations crystal clear in advance to avoid last-minute financial surprises for guests.
What is the etiquette around bringing a gift?
Gifts are not mandatory, but the gesture is certainly nice. The gift is usually something fun and lively, perhaps something her mother or her aunt may not buy her, or she wouldn’t buy for herself. A bachelorette gift registry is not out of the question, some brides want one, and others skip it. A bottle of wine or a favorite spirit is also a good gift if you are “gifted out” from the bride’s previous celebrations.
Is a gift registry for a bachelorette party in good taste?
A registry is always helpful, but make sure there are many different gifts to choose from. Some may be a bit more personal, while others can be simple like hand cream, a fluffy blanket, a favorite scented candle, a silky robe, a sleep mask or some favorite cologne or body spray.
What is the typical cost (per guest) for a bachelorette party?
According to Wedding Wire, a popular wedding website, the average cost of a bachelorette party per person is 350.00 to 1000.00, depending on the number of days and the travel involved. Ouch! As opposed to a wedding shower, where the host pays for the guest to attend and it lasts a few short hours versus several days.
56% of bachelorette parties last two or more days, which affects the cost.
Is it rude to decline an invitation to a bachelorette party?
No. It’s not rude if you choose not to attend, regardless of your reason, it should fit into your budget and daily routine. If you have to take off work, leave a small child, or feel uncomfortable going away for several days, you certainly may decline the RSVP.
Should an official invitation be sent out or can it be word of mouth only?
It’s always best to send out a Who, What, Where, When including specifics such as dress and link to the gift registry. Putting everything down in writing, either on cardstock or electronically, makes it easier for the guests.
How should I reach out to guests who haven’t RSVP’d?
A final headcount is very important; the maid of honor can reach out to ask if they received their invitation and ask if they will be attending. Schedules are busy and it may be a simple oversight. Some people need a friendly nudge to make a decision—the bride should not make the phone call.
What are some popular bachelorette party ideas?
There are many different bachelor party ideas as there are brides but here are a few themes to get your juices flowing:
- Wine Tasting in the Hill Country – hire a bus and a driver
- An Afternoon Art Class – with charcuterie boards, mock/cocktails, lavish desserts
- Dance Lessons and Cocktails – A private yoga class and wine afterward to pole dancing and a pub crawl
- Girlfriends Getaway – A trip to the Beach, Nashville, wine country, NYC, or anywhere the bride chooses to go for her event
For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas.
If you found this Bachelorette Party Etiquette Q&A helpful, you may also like How to Avoid Going Broke as a Bridesmaid. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost.
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