How To Be the Perfect First Date This Valentine’s Day

First dates tend to be a little nerve-wracking, and having a first date on Valentine’s Day comes with extra sweetness and stress. You may be wondering whether or not you should bring a gift, send flowers, or handwrite a card—it can be a lot to maneuver when you have barely spoken to them beforehand. While much of the etiquette for a first date on Valentine’s Day applies to any first date, there are some nuances worth covering.

Here are some of our favorite tips on how to handle a Valentine’s first date with confidence and courtesy.

How To Be the Perfect First Date This Valentine’s Day

Be Prompt

The worst thing you want to do is say you will pick your date up at 6 and find yourself running a significant amount of time behind. You have now missed your dinner reservation and have several drive-thru options to consider. Being tardy is the start of a poor first impression. If you are meeting at a restaurant or movie theater, for instance, get there early so you can find a place to park and greet your date when they arrive.

Select the Table In Advance

Arriving ahead of time also means you can ask the hostess for a table away from the kitchen or restroom, two of the noisiest and busiest areas of the room. You can also make a special request for seating when you make the reservation.

To Give or Not to Give a Gift

A funny greeting card is simple and not overly personal, as well as a small box of chocolates or some other small, inexpensive Valentine’s Day gesture. Ordering a special dessert or wine to celebrate the holiday is a nice touch and one that doesn’t mean you are committing to another date or long-term relationship.

A few ideas:

• Mini bottle of champagne for them to take home
• Cocktail napkins
• Small decorative box of chocolates or sugar cookies
• Tea and a tea cup
• Tickets to their favorite local theatre (with no strings attached to invite you!)
• Notebook, journal, writing pens or colored pencils, a small box of fun stationery
• Candle
• Hand cream

Dress Up

Dress well but be true to yourself. Don’t say or do anything that is contrary to who you are on a daily basis. If you don’t normally wear high heels and you have sworn them off after this date, consider wearing something nice that is a closer match to your style. If you don’t like scary rides, don’t pretend you love roller coasters just because your date has mentioned it’s one of their favorite weekend pastimes.

Start Out as Friends

According to a Harvard study, the one factor that stands out in living a thriving and fulfilling life is the quality of your relationships. The key ingredient is good relationships – good friends are a treasure. Start with friendship to see if there is a lasting connection.

This person may not be your type, but they may have some wonderful qualities that will add value to your life:

• Trust
• Integrity
• Honesty
• Loyalty
• Empathy
• Good company
• Funny
• Humble

No Ex Talk or Gossip

A surefire way to determine the character of someone is by listening to how they speak about others. Avoid discussing your or their ex-partners or gossiping about people you may both know. Controversy is a bad way to start off a new relationship. They will end up thinking if you are speaking poorly about others, you will someday gossip about them as well.

Turn Off Your Phone

The average American spends almost 4 hours a day on their phone. A date lasts less than three hours, so it’s important to pay attention to your date and put your phone away. Ask thoughtful questions and make it a point to learn a few new things about your date.

Offer to Split the Bill

The traditional rule is you invite/pay/tip, but in 2023 it’s perfectly fine to offer to pay your part of the bill (or cover the entire bill) if you feel better about doing so. Always carry some cash in your wallet in case you need to use a coat check, parking meter, valet or unexpectedly tip someone you had not thought about.

The Three-Day Rule is Outdated

If you want to make a follow-up date right away, go ahead. If you want to wait a few days, that is fine, as well. Just avoid playing the “wait three days” rule so you don’t look anxious. That rule is antiquated and no longer applies. Be authentic, be genuine and connect as soon as you wish after the first date.

A Thank You is Always In Order

A thank you text is a thoughtful gesture and doesn’t commit you to go on another date unless you choose. It’s always polite to leave a date on the right foot regardless of how the meeting turned out.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

You may also like Planning a Memorable Valentine’s Day Celebration. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost.