Diane Gottsman | Leading Etiquette Expert | Modern Manners Authority

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Table Manners for Teens

06 Mar 2023 By: Diane Gottsman

Table manners for teens | Closeup of a young woman eating mixed fruits french toast brunch in restaurant

I’m often asked how best to approach table manners for teens. It doesn’t matter what your grandmother taught you, or whether or not you have ever attended an etiquette course, there are some dining tips that will assist you and your teen. With a little practice and a lot of modeling, their comfort level will climb.

Be sure your teen understands that table manners are a powerful way to show respect for fellow guests, even if the guests at the table are immediate family. Mastering the basics builds confidence that will be used for a lifetime of circumstances including dates, job interviews and professional lunches and dinners.

Keep in mind, your teen will likely not take your instruction with exaggerated gestures of joy, and they may even rebel if you don’t catch them on the right day. Showing them by example, rather than preaching to them, is the key to consistent exposure and learning. So mom and dad … what should you know so you can model the behavior?

Here are a few ways to model to your tweens, teens and college-age kids:

Table Manners for Teens

Gentle Reminders

  • Please silence your phone and put it away.
  • Always use a napkin. Even if you feel the meal is easy to navigate, a cloth or paper napkin should be placed on your lap during the meal.
  • Learn how to properly set and navigate a table. Here is an example of a place setting:

Table setting diagram | Diane Gottsman

Sips & Silverware

  • Stir your iced tea quietly. Don’t bang the sides of the glass with the spoon. Place the spoon behind the glass when you are finished stirring.
  • Place the lemon in the glass or behind the glass if you don’t want the lemon in the tea.
  • Never lick your knife. If it gets dirty, gently glide it against the fork to discreetly dislodge a large piece of food from the side of the blade.

Soup

Female eating Hungarian soup with sausage in a restaurant

  • When eating soup, spoon away from the body and bring the spoon to your mouth. Place spoon behind soup bowl, on the under plate between bites. (Mom or dad, this means you must offer a plate to rest the spoon.)

Please Pass

Freshly sliced country white bread in basket at restaurant table

  • Avoid octopus arms. Reaching across the table rather than passing the food is impolite.
  • Pass food to your right, counterclockwise. If you would like the salt, your tablemate will pass you both the salt and pepper. Simply say “thank you.”
  • Turn the handle towards the other person when passing.
  • Pass the small underplate of the gravy boat, along with the gravy boat and spoon.

Raise Your Glass

  • Wait for the host to propose a toast. Toasts are given for special occasions and holidays, and to welcome their guests.

Time to Dine

  • Don’t start eating until everyone has gotten their food.
  • If you don’t have your food and everyone else has been served, ask everyone to “please start eating.”
  • Remember to take small, manageable bites and chew with your mouth closed.
  • Don’t talk with a mouthful of food.
  • Remove gristle and bone with the index finger and thumb of the left hand and cover the mouth with the right. Place the foreign matter discreetly on the table.

Please Excuse

  • Push your chair under the table and place your napkin on the seat of the chair when you leave the table temporarily.
  • Place the napkin back up on the table when you are finished with the meal and everyone is ready to leave the table for good.

Rest and Finish

  • Rest and finish properly. Even though no one else may know the rule, it’s a quiet and confident way to place your utensils down between bites.

After the Meal

Two boys washing the dishes in the kitchen sink

  • Offer to help clean up, clear the table and assist with washing and drying the dishes.
  • Pick up the soiled napkins from the table and put them in the dirty clothes hamper.
  • Always thank the host for the wonderful meal.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

You may also like Spring Dining Etiquette Suggestions. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

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Diane Gottsman

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.