Answering Your Graduation Etiquette Questions

Graduations are upon us whether you have a kid in high school, a niece in college or a nephew in grad school. Reaching this milestone calls for well-deserved recognition and celebration of the graduate(s) in your life. They are riding the waves of excitement, nervousness and relief as they prepare to enter an entirely new chapter. The PSoTX email is abuzz with graduation etiquette questions regarding invitations, announcements, gift giving and more. We’re sharing a handful we have received below, along with our best advice on handling each one.

Question: My daughter is graduating in a few weeks and the limited number of invitations allotted for our graduate have all been sent out. I am getting calls from family members asking if they have been invited, and I am running out of excuses. What should I do?

Answer: No excuses necessary. Simply explain there were only a certain number of seats, and you had to limit the guest list. Family and friends will understand.

Question: Should I send out the graduation announcements now, to those who were not invited to the graduation, so there will be no confusion?

Answer: No. It’s too early. There will always be confusion! Clearly, invitations are different from announcements, however, people still seem to get them confused. If there is not a date and time to attend, it’s not an invitation!

Invitations generally go out several weeks to a month in advance, and announcements go out after graduation.

Question: Who should get a graduation announcement? I want to send them to my colleagues as a “thank you for supporting me” through some turbulent times during my son’s high school years. My sister says it would be rude. I don’t expect them to send gifts; I want them to know I appreciate them.

Answer: If you want to show your appreciation to your friends or colleagues for their enduring support, take them out to lunch or to happy hour! Sending them an announcement also feels somewhat obligatory, as if they should send a gift. It depends on your relationship and if they know your son. If they don’t, skip the announcement and order the lunch special or Cobb salad.

Question: My nephew is graduating from high school and taking a gap year. I want to give him something he can use, and I feel if I give him money now, he will spend it on something immediate rather than saving it for his first year of college. Should I wait or give the money to his parents to hold for him until he goes to school?

Answer: Don’t wait. A gift is for now – however he wants to use the money. Unless it’s a large sum you are earmarking for his education, a graduation gift is for the graduate to enjoy and use at their discretion. Your nephew would greatly appreciate some money to buy something special to remind him of his 2023 graduation. Or not … but it’s his choice. Don’t delay the gift unless it’s a substantial amount of money, and even then, give him a small amount to enjoy now.

Question: What is the average price of a graduation gift?

Answer: It depends on the relationship you have with the graduate – either high school or college – anywhere from $25 to $100.

Question: What are some great grad gift ideas?

Answer: A few of our favorite grad gifts:

• A gift certificate to a supercenter – grocery store – department store with large amounts of merchandise
• Cash – in any denomination
• A piece of carry-on luggage or a tote
• A sound machine – or anything else – but remember the gift receipt

Question: Are e-cards acceptable for announcements, and can my daughter send thank you notes electronically for gifts she receives?

Answer: Your graduate should send a handwritten thank you note for each gift she receives. They should go out as soon as humanly possible and no later than a couple of weeks after graduation.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

You may also like Diane’s recent SA Living segment, Graduation Etiquette Questions & Answers. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost.