Etiquette Advice for New Graduates Moving Back Home

ByDiane Gottsman
Etiquette Advice for New Graduates Moving Back Home | Happy woman unpacking boxes and taking off books and notes.

Etiquette Advice for New Graduates Moving Back Home | Happy woman unpacking boxes and taking off books and notes.

If you are a recent graduate, there is much to celebrate as change is on the horizon. There are many reasons you may wish (or need) to move home—temporarily—as you plan for what is next. Perhaps you are fortunate enough to be preparing for a remote position, but that means you are also pondering where “home base” is for you. Instead of signing a 12-month lease when you are unsure, it might make sense to work from your parent’s home while you weigh your options. Maybe you are applying for jobs but don’t have a sense of what direction is best. I’m often asked for my best etiquette advice for new graduates moving back home.

Know that there are several advantages to moving back home for a short while. Jamie Birt for Indeed.com explains: “Moving back to your hometown for a while is a great way to look for jobs and explore the options available to you in a comfortable, cost-effective way.”

To set everyone up for a smooth(er) time together, we’ve pulled together a few pointers. Keep reading for our best tips.

Etiquette Advice for New Graduates Moving Back Home

Agree On Boundaries

Both parties may have comfort levels around everything from letting the other know (or not) when you will be coming home, having friends over, meal preparation and more. Discuss what feels reasonable and set healthy boundaries.

Establish a budget | Concentrated young woman sitting on cozy bed, involved in studying distantly on computer, writing notes in copybook, preparing for professional test examination, improving knowledge remotely.

Establish a Budget

Your goal of setting yourself up for success should remain at the forefront. Design a budget and stick to it to keep things moving forward. If opportunities to earn additional income present themselves, seriously consider them as you build up your savings and pay down debt.

Shot of a beautiful young woman painting a wall at home

Change Up Your Childhood Room

The room you grew up in may now be a TV room or filled with workout equipment. I understand that. Where you take temporary residence after graduation may be in a different part of the house. Or, the same room but you may need to update with a desk, a new bedspread for a few more pillows. Simple changes will refresh your space and make you. You may need to “pair down.”

Most experts agree decluttering is a good step. With your parents blessing, it may also be an added benefit to help your mom and dad go through the things that are meaningful to you and those you can let go.

Man writing notes sitting at a coffee shop with a laptop on the table

Draft Up an Agreement

An agreement does not have to be formal nor does it need to be in any particular format. Jot down some agreed-upon notes on how you are going to move forward during your stay. Will you pay rent? How long do you anticipate living at home after you secure a job? Starting a conversation and putting it down and writing lets everyone know the expectations.

Establish New Routines

How you spent your time over summer or winter break in years past may not be in line with your goals as a graduate. Honoring your health—mind, body and spirit—will have you feeling your best. This positive boost will ripple throughout the home. Birt for Indeed.com writes, “Use the time at home to network with local businesses in your field, connect with other college alumni and update your resume.”

Prioritize Responsibilities

Keeping your word builds your character and is a blessing to your parents. If you offered to help with grocery shopping, yard work, meal prep or any number of things, set reminders and see it through. Taking out the trash on trash day and bringing the cans back in,
mowing the lawn or doing household chores that take pressure off parents is a great way to show gratitude.

Shot of an unrecognisable businesswoman making notes in a book in a modern office

Create Goals

Capitalize on your downtime by mapping out your short- and long-term goals. You’ve heard about making goals “SMART” —Specific, Measurable, Attainable or Achievable, Realistic or Relevant, and Timely and Tangible. The American Psychological Association details three keys to reaching your goals:

  • Motivation to change
  • Willingness to monitor the behavior
  • Willpower to make it happen

Understand that there may be some tension around a number of things to include:

  • Reestablishing New Relationship with Parents
  • Social Life Adjustments
  • Lack of Privacy

When handled properly, this can be a wonderful opportunity for family and college grad to grow stronger and build on a new relationship.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

You may also like my video segment on KTBC and Yahoo! Finance, Moving Back Home After Graduating from College. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

Diane Gottsman

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.

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