8 Things Not to Say in a Text Message

When it comes to cell phones and technology, texting is one of the most convenient forms of communication. It’s quick, efficient and you can get an almost immediate answer to your question. Unless someone is busy or not available to respond—this is where people become a bit testy awaiting a reply. When the response is a curt thumbs up emoji instead of a string of words, there is a mismatch of energy that may leave your BFF bothered or a client annoyed.

Here are several examples of responses that can easily offend the recipient of your text response:

1. “Yeah”

Rather than “Yes” or “Sounds good,” a dismissive “Yeah” reads similar to a verbal grunt.
Taking a few extra moments to add a warmer response, e.g., “Looking forward to joining you!” Or, “Yes. Love that idea!” conveys you took time to read their text and respond.

2. “Okay”

This seemingly innocent word can often be easily misinterpreted depending on the conversation and the other person’s filter. A one word, “Okay” can mean a variety of different things including indifference, annoyance or agreement. For example, if someone asks for a favor or relays a story to you that has a great deal of joy or angst and you receive an “Okay” in return, it clearly means they are not as engaged as you.

3. “We need to talk.”

This phrase can cause anxiety and uncertainty when received via text. The message can be interpreted as confrontational or serious, making the recipient uneasy. Instead of sending this message, it’s better to arrange a time to talk in person or over the phone.

4. “I don’t know.”

This statement can be seen as indecisive or unhelpful. When someone asks for your opinion or input, and you respond with “I don’t know,” it can be frustrating and unproductive. Instead, try to offer your thoughts or ask for more information and if you are busy, let them know you will follow up later.

5. “Fine.”

This word does not easily stand alone. One-word answers are bad enough, but for some reason, the word “Fine” is similar to rolling your eyes and turning your head away. It’s often a passive-aggressive reply – on steroids. If you are hoping to communicate something is, in fact, fine, a synonym and a little more information about your feelings will be appreciated, e.g., “Sounds great! Thanks for pulling this together for us.”

6. “K.”

An abbreviated form of “Okay,” it comes across as lazy or unfeeling. If you’ve got to send one word—at least spell it out. “10-4!” Or, “Sounds good” may express the message in a friendlier way.

7. “I’ll let you know.”

This phrase can be taken as if you are shopping your options before you say yes to an invitation. It’s a non-commitment phrase that buys you time, but something along the lines of “I’m wrapping up a project this week but have made a note to discuss it with the team.” Or, “We are running in different directions around here, but things will slow down later in the week” may be better received.

8. “Are you mad at me?”

If you have to ask, you probably have already been involved in, or seen an altercation, and you are testing the waters. This text can also be interpreted as defensive or accusatory. An in-person discussion is usually best in these situations. Come with your sincere and authentic self and allow the other person room to share their side of things.

The list can go on, and of course, there are exceptions to every one of these brief remarks, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas.

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