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Diane Gottsman | Leading Etiquette Expert | Modern Manners Authority

Leading Etiquette Expert and Modern Manners Authority Diane Gottsman’s official blog, with Business Etiquette, University Etiquette, Social Media Etiquette, Dining Etiquette and more.

Houseguest Etiquette Reminders for the Summer

19 Jun 2023 By: Diane Gottsman

Houseguest Etiquette Reminders for Summer | Guest bedroom with green tropical bedding and yellow artwork

Summer travel is in full swing, and when you visit friends or relatives for a few days or a few weeks, there are certain expectations it brings. Being mindful of your host’s sacrifice to share their home with you for a lengthy period of time is always wise. Here are a few houseguest etiquette reminders to ensure your host will enthusiastically invite you back again next year.

Confirm Your ETA

Flights change and plans are sometimes altered from the original conversation between you and your host. A week in advance, share your flight schedule and arrival time so that your host may prepare. If your flight is delayed or canceled, let them know immediately so they can adjust their schedule accordingly.

Arrive with a Gift

Pastel colored gift boxes on turquoise background. Minimal styled flat lay for Mother's Day, Birthday and Holiday. Books wrapped in gift paper.
Luggage is often tight, so bringing something simple but thoughtful is the best choice. Wine, chocolate and food items are hard to carry but cocktail napkins, stationery or a journal are good choices that will fit comfortably between the tees and shorts in your suitcase. A small gesture of kindness at the start will go a long way in showing your gratitude.

Stick to Your Host’s Schedule

Every home has its own daily rhythm, and adjusting to the hosts waking hours, meal schedule and bedtime routine allows the host to feel comfortable in their own home. A good host wants to make sure their guests are well taken care of, and a good guest is aware of making their host feel the same. Respect their pet policy, as well as other specific requests they either mention or you notice such as taking off your shoes around the house or drinking filtered water rather than bottled water.

Treat Your Guest Room Like It’s Your Own

You are not in a hotel, and housekeeping does not come around once a day to clean up your mess. Make every effort to keep your living space clean, neat and mildew free. Don’t leave wet towels on the floor, and make your bed daily—before your first cup of coffee each morning. A clean and clutter-free space is the goal and shows your host you respect their property. They will notice the small gesture as they pass by your temporary space.

Jump In and Help with Tasks

Putting ingredients into the bowl

Don’t hesitate to offer your assistance with household tasks. Ask if there’s anything you can do to ease the workload, such as setting the table, washing dishes, or assisting with meal preparation. Your willingness to contribute will be noticed and greatly appreciated. If you notice they enjoy a matcha latte or a warm cup of chai in the morning, offer to prepare one, just the way they like.

Rent Your Own Car, Uber, or Take the Subway

Never expect your host to relinquish their personal mode of transportation during your visit. They have to continue to conduct daily business, and it’s your responsibility to find your own set of wheels. Send your host a quick text beforehand, letting them know this detail is squared away.

Conserve Energy

Be mindful of water and electricity and do your best to be prudent with your showers and use of electricity. You may be fond of long, hot showers while your host prefers you to take a quick shower and conserve.

Follow Mealtime Etiquette

Offer to set the table, clear the dishes and prepare an occasional meal, including going to the grocery store and buying the food and supplies. A gracious guest shows their gratitude by taking the host out to dinner or cooking a meal to lessen the burden of the host.

Depart at the Scheduled Time

You have no doubt enjoyed your visit and would love to stay a few more days, but avoid the inclination to suggest an extended visit. Your host is probably getting ready to jump back into their routine, or preparing for another set of summer houseguests in the near future. Either way, you will be remembered more fondly when you leave on schedule rather than later in the week.

Don’t Forget to Write

Send a handwritten thank you note within the first 48 hours of your arriving back home. Mention a few things in particular that made a special memory and keep in touch throughout the year so it doesn’t appear as if you only were interested in visiting their lake house or beach house. Including a photo or two from your stay is another sweet expression of your thanks.

thank you note | woman opening card, wearing blush sweater, sitting down

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

You may also like Outdoor Entertaining Etiquette. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

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Diane Gottsman

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.

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27 Jul 2023

Also, the nice thing about interviewing etiquette experts was they all returned my call. Thanks @Debretts @williamhanson Laura @PolishedManners and @DianeGottsman for bringing some clarity to protocol chaos

5 Jul 2023

Technology and the gig economy are playing a role in #tipping #etiquette. Sharing my thoughts on when to tip, skip, and how much with @cnbcmakeit: https://www.cnbc.com/2023/07/03/etiquette-expert-how-much-to-tip-at-restaurants-hotels-coffee-shops.html. #manners #gigeconomy #technology #modernmanners

19 Jun 2023

Become their favorite houseguest and spread kindness on your summer travels! Tips on the blog. ❤️🧳✈️🚗

https://dianegottsman.com/2023/06/19/houseguest-etiquette-reminders-for-the-summer/

#travel #houseguest #etiquette #manners #kindess #modernmanners #etiquetteexpert

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Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert, sought after industry leader, and owner of The Protocol School of Texas,
a company specializing in executive leadership and business etiquette training.

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