The New Cell Phone Etiquette 2023

How and when we answer our phone has a great deal to do with the person on the other end. When our boss calls, we quickly answer (or try to ignore it until we have a plan of action!), and when our mom calls, we often put her off until we know we will have time to talk. Basically, when we decide to answer or make a phone call has much to do with the relationship, the generation and the reason for the call. The closer you are to someone, the less you rely on formalities, but there is definitely a protocol when it comes to cell phone communication. Here is the new cell phone etiquette, written in the fall of 2023.

The New Cell Phone Etiquette For 2023

Voicemails are Yesterday’s News

How many people do you know who listen to their voicemail messages? When you need (or want) an answer fast, it’s much quicker and more efficient to text someone (family and friends) or send a quick email (client, peer or boss). The danger in voicemail is that people rely on the transcription rather than listening, and a message may be relayed incorrectly or taken out of context if the recipient isn’t listening to the tone of voice.

Never ask someone out, break up, or leave an apology on a voicemail.

Always Text Before Making a Call

A habit that is quite effective is to text someone before making the call. It gives them warning, and they can decide if it’s a good time to talk. Or, they can also decide if they would prefer to plan for your call at a later time. With a text, you can set up a time that works well for both parties. For example, I have a friend who is a super early riser (and so am I). Neither of us would think of calling each other before sun up before asking if they are “up” or “available to speak.” It’s simply a courtesy.

Answer at Your Convenience

Much like a text, unless you feel the call could be urgent, it’s not obligatory to answer the phone at an inconvenient time. A business response is within one work day, and friends and family should consider your schedule and work routine before getting frustrated that they haven’t heard back.

Read the Transcription in Real Time

Live Voicemail is an iOS 17 feature which offers the option of reading the message while they are still leaving it, without having to play it back after they hang up. You have to turn on the feature by going to Settings – Phone – Live Voicemail. Once it activated, follow the prompts. When you receive a call you prefer to skip, hit the voicemail button on incoming call screen and wait for the message to automatically forward. You will hear a chime and see the transcription on the Lock Screen. You will see an icon, tap it to view the message in real time.

Utilize the Automation

Smartphones allow you to respond with a generated text, or you can customize your own. The default “I’m in a meeting – call you when I’m done” or “Can I call you later?” can feel somewhat cold and insensitive. Select your auto generated response with some caution.

Avoid Multiple Phone Blasts

If your call is an emergency, text also and let them know it’s a “911,” but don’t abuse the urgency. Otherwise, wait patiently for a response.

Familiarize Yourself with Video FaceTime

Not everyone will be onboard with a FaceTime message (not everyone will automatically know how to do it!) Go to the FaceTime app, then tap the “New FaceTime” button and choose the person you want to call. When the contact is not available, hit “Record Video” and leave your video message. You can also save the video to your camera roll. As a reminder, you wouldn’t generally be leaving a message if you used the “text first” rule to make sure they are available and open to a chat or video chat.

Some Older Cell Phone Rules Still Apply

Keep your voice down, don’t put anyone on speaker and use your headphones, but remember other people can still hear your part of the conversation.

Remember Some People Still Want to Hear Your Voice

Phone calls are not obsolete. We simply handle the person to person call differently because we have more options when it comes to new technology. If you have the option of listening to a voicemail message while they are still talking (much like the outdated answering machine), remember the other person may feel like they were being screened. It also could mean you were finishing something up so you could get to their phone call.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

You may also like Diane’s CBS News segment, The Latest Phone Call Etiquette. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost.