Diane Gottsman | Leading Etiquette Expert | Modern Manners Authority

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Sip, Savor, and Celebrate: Hosting a Fall Cocktail Party

30 Oct 2023 By: Diane Gottsman

Hosting a Fall Cocktail Party | The Thanksgiving dinner table. A traditional Thanksgiving or Friendship Day party. Decoration and serving of the festive table with autumn decor, candles and flowers dishes and pumpkins.
The crisp autumn air, a cascade of color outdoors and cozy autumn candlelight make this season one of the best times for hosting a fall cocktail party. Then there are the beloved flavors, such as rich pumpkin, crisp apple, slightly sweet butternut squash and more—perfect for conjuring up cherished memories from previous fall’s bounty. Welcoming friends to the table is a wonderful way to reinforce traditions. Here are a few ways to make your gathering special and memorable.

Our Best Tips For Hosting a Fall Cocktail Party

Pick a Theme

Obviously, fall has its own dynamic colors and tastes, but emphasizing something in particular sets the theme apart from the “ordinary.” I love EVERYTHING orange, almost all year long, but incorporating a new color scheme, such as cream, teal or purple will add a different feel to your table.

Make the Invitation Distinctive

Art therapy for mental health recovery, Making Art Helps Improve Mental Health. Creativity and Recovery. Faceless portrait of woman drawing autumn trees with markers.

Rather than a simple phone call, rifle through your drawers and come up with some personalized, individual invitations. Use cards and stationery you already have and create your own invite. Include an RSVP deadline so you can have an accurate headcount. Each invitation can be different based on what you have in your drawer.

RSVP Etiquette

Creative entrepreneur talking on business phone call, writing in notebook and planning a project working remote at house. Happy, learning and young woman doing freelance and making notes in book
Would you believe the protocol to an RSVP is to respond within one day of receiving your card or phone call? There are always exceptions to this rule, but make an attempt to respond sooner rather than later. Depending on the date of the party, don’t wait until the last minute to say yes or no.

If you have RSVP’d yes, you cannot change your mind when you receive a better offer. Your host will find out, and it will perhaps damage your relationship forever!

If you are uncertain if you will be able to attend, call the host and explain the situation. For example, if you are waiting for an out of town job interview, you may not be able to give a conclusive answer until you hear from your potential employer. Hosts (a.k.a. friends) understand special circumstances.

Lights and Candles Add a Glow to the Party

Festive autumn lighting decor. Candle in a jar with rain drop, hanging on tree branches for night decoration.

Have a softly scented candle burning in the foyer or living room, but make sure the votives at the table are unscented. I prefer battery operated votives, but there is no right or wrong when it comes to one over the other.

Consider Dietary Restrictions

Plan your menu thoughtfully. Ask your guests if there are any food restrictions you should be familiar with and plan your menu accordingly. You may want to make a special casserole for a particular guest if it is something you know the rest of your guests will have issues with – such as someone who can’t eat wheat, dairy, cheese, protein, etc.

Dress Up for Your Own Party

The invitation sets the tone for the party, and you may want to include a dress attire hint. The host should dress up for the occasion to let their guests know they are excited for the special evening. If you plan to host the dinner outside, let your guests know what to expect. Here in the South, it’s still hot and humid, so taking precautions for the weather and the mosquitoes should be top of mind.

Put Your Fur Baby in a Comfortable and Safe Area

Dogs with pumpkins

If your pet experiences anxiety with new faces and loud noise, make a special place for him so he can feel safe and calm. If he is a beggar at the table, do your guests a favor and put him in another room during dinner. It’s for the safety of your pet and the wellbeing of your guests to make a special effort to keep your pet safe and tranquil.

Set a Pretty Table

Hosting a Fall Cocktail Party | The Thanksgiving dinner table. A traditional Thanksgiving or Friendship Day party. Decoration and serving of the festive table with autumn decor, candles and flowers dishes and pumpkins.

This is your time to shine! Get creative with the table decorations without breaking the bank. Look in your closets and drawers and repurpose things from past seasons. Go to your local dollar store to find decorations and random glassware and cooking supplies. Set the table a few days in advance to see what you are still missing.

Buy the Dessert

Different tasty tartlets on counter in bakery shop, closeup. Space for text

You don’t have to do it all. There are plenty of festive fall desserts to dazzle your guests. You don’t need to serve a lot, just a bite of a pumpkin cake, a maple cookie or seasonal pie with a scoop of your favorite seasonal ice cream. My current favorite is Salted Maple Cream.

Add a Fall Activity

Girl making floral autumn door wreath using colorful rosehip berries, rowan, dry flowers and pumpkins. Fall flower decoration workshop, florist at work.

Take the fall fun up another notch and bring out the Martha Stewart in your guests with a fall-themed activity, such as a pumpkin carving contest, wreath making or a hayride. Depending on the weather, a s’mores station may also be in order!

Send Your Guest Home with a Fall Memento

Set out a tray of little gift bags filled with an inexpensive treat, thanking them for sharing their fall with you. It will be a nice reminder of the season, and an indicator of a gracious host who loves visiting with their guests.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

You may also like How to Have a Fall “Glow Up”. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

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Diane Gottsman

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.