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Diane Gottsman | Leading Etiquette Expert | Modern Manners Authority

Leading Etiquette Expert and Modern Manners Authority Diane Gottsman’s official blog, with Business Etiquette, University Etiquette, Social Media Etiquette, Dining Etiquette and more.

Holiday Houseguest Etiquette: Planning For A Gracious Stay

21 Dec 2023 By: Diane Gottsman

Holiday Houseguest Etiquette 2023 | Hands of senior woman giving decorated bottle of champagne or wine to adult daughter as Christmas present

Being a gracious houseguest during the most festive time of year involves more than finding the perfect hostess gift and arriving when you said you would—it means being exceedingly considerate and doing your part to blend into your host family’s routine. Whether you’ll be staying a few days or a long holiday week, understanding the nuances of holiday houseguest etiquette will brighten your host family’s spirits. Keep reading for our guide on how to be the perfect holiday houseguest in 2023.

Arrive and depart at the time you stated to your hosts.

Even if they say, “Gosh, it was such a quick visit,” leave when you originally said you would. They are getting ready for the next set of houseguests to arrive.

Side view close up of unrecognizable woman setting up dining table decorated for Christmas with fir branches and candles in grey tones, copy space

Bring a gift from home and be ready to chip in.

During your stay, be prepared to help with added groceries, wine, sodas, water, etc. during your stay.

Be a part of the festivities while you are in town.

If you are sharing a celebration that involves a gift-giving exchange, ask the host for some suggestions. If you bring a guest, the guest should also participate in the exchange so it doesn’t feel awkward. You will have to help with ideas.

Don’t expect to change up the house routine.

If your host wakes up early, you do the same. Sleeping in until noon when the rest of the house is tip-toeing around trying to be quiet is rude to your host and host family.

Rent your own car.

Or, use an uber to sightsee, travel around town or visit your friends.

Decorated Christmas bedroom with Christmas tree. Light Scandinavian interior. Cozy bed in a chalet.

Keep your room and bathroom tidy.

You are not at a hotel. Pick up your wet towels and dirty clothes, and make your bed daily.

Treat your host and their family to dinner.

Depending on how long you stay, a couple of dinners would be appropriate, or cook them a special meal and buy the groceries or have them delivered so you can start preparing the meal.

Blend into the family.

Set the table, do the dishes, take out the trash, or do whatever your host will allow you to contribute.

A home interior with a pet fox red Labrador retriever dog wearing a festive Christmas jumper with copy space

Respect their children and their pets.

Do not feed pets table food. Take the dog for a walk or to the dog park, and engage in conversation with the kids.

Respect your host’s property.

If you spill something, clean it up, if you break something, replace it. Leave the area you stayed in as good, or better than when you arrived.

Stay away from volatile topics.

Religion, politics and family gossip are off the table. If the topic does come up, you can either engage in a respectful manner but don’t feel the need to prove your point. It might be a good time to take their dog for a long walk!

As you say farewell to your host family, aim to leave the home with gratitude. Here’s to embodying graciousness and ensuring you’ll receive another warm welcome in 2024.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

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Diane Gottsman

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.

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27 Jul 2023

Also, the nice thing about interviewing etiquette experts was they all returned my call. Thanks @Debretts @williamhanson Laura @PolishedManners and @DianeGottsman for bringing some clarity to protocol chaos

5 Jul 2023

Technology and the gig economy are playing a role in #tipping #etiquette. Sharing my thoughts on when to tip, skip, and how much with @cnbcmakeit: . #manners #gigeconomy #technology #modernmanners

19 Jun 2023

Become their favorite houseguest and spread kindness on your summer travels! Tips on the blog. ❤️🧳✈️🚗

https://dianegottsman.com/2023/06/19/houseguest-etiquette-reminders-for-the-summer/

#travel #houseguest #etiquette #manners #kindess #modernmanners #etiquetteexpert

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Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert, sought after industry leader, and owner of The Protocol School of Texas,
a company specializing in executive leadership and business etiquette training.

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