2024 Graduation Etiquette: Q and As

It’s graduation season, and soon you’ll see caps tossed into the air and diplomas on display. This time of year brings many questions that are timely and confusing. We are covering 2024 graduation etiquette Q and As around this happy, yet often unclear topic. We hope these tips will be helpful in navigating the nuances around this momentous milestone.

Q. What is the difference between an invitation and an announcement? My girlfriend said to be looking for her son’s “announcement” in the mail very soon, but I’m not sure if that means I’m also invited to the party.

A. Whether you are invited or just received a graduation announcement has nothing to do with who will get an invitation to the party. (Three different things!)

• An invitation means they would like you to attend the graduation.
• An announcement means they are letting you know their child has graduated – typically from high school or college.
• A party is a celebration separate from either of the above. You can be invited to a graduation party and not receive a graduation ceremony invitation or an announcement.

Q. My daughter is graduating from college soon, and we only have a few invitations to offer guests. My daughter doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. She is actually closer to her godmother than she is to one of her aunts. Is it better to err on the side of caution and not invite anyone if I know it’s going to hurt other people’s feelings?

A. Inviting one aunt and not another may be a deal breaker in the family, but choosing among friends of the family is a little easier to explain. Excluding an aunt over a godmother is a personal decision. Some non-family members are often closer than blood relatives, however, it’s important to think of the long-term implications. Excluding one aunt and inviting the other two and a godmother may be a holiday downer next December. Everyone knows there are only a few invites that can be used and it’s perfectly acceptable to choose a friend or family member closest to your college grad. Weigh the potential outcome and perhaps explain to the godmother the situation. They can celebrate over lunch or dinner at another time.

Q. Does a graduation announcement require a gift?

A. If you have a close relationship with the graduate, yes. If it’s an obligatory announcement, from a friend and you have never met their child, then the answer is no.

Q. I want to send a graduation gift but don’t know the graduate very well. Would it be appropriate to send a check?

A. Money is always an appreciated gift and it allows the graduate to buy what they need for the next step in their journey. For high school students, they can buy something for their dorm. For a college student, it would be a perfect gift for someone starting out in a new apartment or city.

Q. How many weeks in advance do we need to send out invitations to a graduation party and should we include an RSVP?

A: Four to six weeks gives people plenty of time to look at their calendar. You don’t need to have a graduation party on the same night if it conflicts with other parties but generally, graduation day is the time young adults like to celebrate with their friends.

Q. Does the graduate have to stay the entire night at their own party if there are several parties taking place?

A. The graduate should stay long enough to mix and mingle with their guests (don’t leave before your guests) and also long enough to say thank you to the out-of-town family that has come in to celebrate. The rule is, that after the graduate has visited with all of their guests, all of their friends have left, and only family is present, they can bow out of the party to go enjoy other celebrations.

Q. Does the graduate have to send thank you notes to family members?

A. Yes. If a gift was given, a thank you note should be sent within one to two weeks and should be handwritten, not texted or emailed.

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