Grace Under the Sun: Summer Etiquette Q&A

Summer is in full swing and often these exciting times can result in a series of uncomfortable, awkward dilemmas. Here are a few situations you may encounter and how to handle them with grace. Keep reading for our Summer Etiquette Q&A.

Photo by OLEKSANDR P from Pexels

Summer Etiquette Q&A

Question:

I have a coworker who confuses summer casual with tropical beach wear. She is a great peer and I like her a lot. Should I say something before HR gets involved?

Answer:
If you are super close, hanging out on the weekends with your kids, you can respectfully mention your concern as a valued friend. But, if she is simply a distant peer and coworker, stay out of her business. It’s not your place to judge or impart your opinions on her choice of clothing. If others are talking about it, stay out of the conversation because it makes you a gossip. You must assume if it’s truly a problem for management, the supervisor will get involved.

Question:

I have been invited to a pool party and I want to go, but I don’t want to get in the pool. I do want to hang out with my friends and enjoy their company. Is it rude to attend and stay in my shorts and tee?

Answer:
I am sure your friends would welcome your presence, whether you take a dip or not! It’s unlikely that everyone will be in the water at the same time. Strike up a conversation with those out of the water or consider putting your feet in to catch up with a water-loving friend.

Question:

We have been invited to a friend’s lake house and there will be several people we don’t know. Would it be rude to ask to see the guest list before we accept the invitation?

Answer:
Inquiring about the other lake house guests is reasonable, especially if there will be little ones enjoying the fun. You could always say, “We appreciate the invitation and hope you don’t mind us asking who else will be staying with you.” It’s always nice to know what to expect so you can plan accordingly.

Question:

Playdates are popular in our neighborhood, even more so in summer. We have a couple who leaves their three and five-year old with us for hours – day and night – while they go out and have fun. My daughter would love to babysit for money, but I feel uncomfortable asking our friends to use our daughter as a sitter. Meanwhile, I’m watching their kids and ours. Is it rude to pass off my friends’ kids to our daughter and ask for babysitter money?

Answer:
You are a good friend and neighbor, already extending a lot of grace and patience. The next time they bring their kiddos your way and prepare to jet out the door, you could say, “Madison has expressed an interest in babysitting Joey and Samantha. Would you be willing to help compensate her for her time and their care? I have a lot on my plate today and am hoping this may be a good solution for all of us.”

Question:

We are planning a weekend trip to the beach with my husband’s sister and her husband. All of a sudden, I find out they have invited their college-age kid, and some of their friends along. It changes the dynamic of the weekend getaway to have the adult kids along because it becomes all about the adult kids every time we are together. Is it rude to back out with an excuse and plan for another time?

Answer:
It sounds like you’ve experienced this switch-up in the past. Before you cancel your plans, it may be worth your husband having a conversation with his sister: “We were really looking forward to some one-on-one time, just the four of us for this trip. Has Daniel confirmed he’ll be joining us?” This lets her know your preference and makes way to gracefully back out depending on the response (and resort cancellation policy).

Question:

My husband insists on walking through the hotel barefoot, saying it’s perfectly normal because he is paying for the room, the pool, and the amenities. I think it’s terribly rude. What do you think?

Answer:
Footwear is a must for moving around the hotel. Whether in the lobby, the hallway, or walking through the hotel to the pool or the beach, footwear is essential, sandals or otherwise. Wearing shoes in the hotel communicates respect and is a more sanitary option.

Question:

We are going to a family reunion in another city and one of the family members is having tee shirts made for everyone to wear during the event. I am not a fan of matching tee shirts and don’t intend on wearing one the entire time. I will put it on for the picture, but I’m taking it off for the duration of the party. My mother-in-law says it would be incredibly disrespectful to go against the grain and potentially start a family rift. Shouldn’t we have been asked before making a unanimous decision to wear a hot, scratchy tee shirt?

Answer:
Wearing the shirt for the picture and removing it when you wish seems reasonable, especially if you didn’t have a say in the dress code. If someone approaches you, you could always say you had already planned your outfits before learning about the tee shirts, and want to be your most comfortable and happy self.

And, speaking of family reunions …

Question:

My girlfriend is coming to a family reunion with me this summer and my mom told me she will not be in the family photo. How do I tell my girlfriend she is not welcome to be in the picture without her getting angry? Is it rude?

Answer:
It’s wise to discuss this before the photographer breaks out his tripod. You could say, “I wanted to let you know my parents aren’t comfortable including girlfriends or boyfriends in the photo, but I’d love to take photos as a couple afterward if you’d like that.”

You may also like Summer Travel Tipping Guide.

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