Destination Wedding Etiquette and FAQs

Weddings are a time of celebration—and stress for some involved—when they are in the same town. Throw in an invitation to a destination wedding when budgets are tight and the kids have a full calendar, and the sweetness can quickly sour. It’s understandable, as destination weddings can pose some hardships for the guests, from who pays for the flight to questions about taking off work and planning an unexpected vacation to a destination not originally anticipated. The effort and sacrifice may, or may not, be worth it. Here are a few destination wedding etiquette points to consider when either attending, or planning your dream ceremony.

The Couple’s Responsibility

The bride and groom, or their family will pay for the venue, food costs, flowers, bar, pictures, and transportation to and from the venue. The couple should offer a car, bus, or shuttle service to get their guests from point A to point B. The bride and groom will pay for organized outings or day trips.

A Welcome Ceremony is Expected

A rehearsal dinner is the gold standard, but when you are expecting guests to travel across the country to attend your wedding, an evening welcome ceremony, such as a cocktail party or luncheon, is a nice touch.

Guests’ Responsibility

The guests should not feel obligated to go to a wedding, in any location, they cannot afford. Budget, work schedule, kids’ obligations, and family commitments play a strong part in whether or not a guest will say yes to the invitation. If they do RSVP yes, they will be expected to cover the cost of their travel, hotel, and any extra excursions they opt to enjoy on the trip. The bride and groom will pay for organized outings or day trips.

Tradition of Who Pays

Historically, the bride’s family paid for the wedding, regardless of location and the groom’s family paid for the rehearsal dinner, marriage license, officiant fee, boutonnieres, corsages, and sometimes, the music. Traditionally, the groom’s family also paid for the honeymoon. News update: All of this has changed and the obligation of paying for expenses is very fluid. Some couples can pay for their wedding and would prefer to handle the cost so they can make all of the final decisions.

Commonly Asked Questions:

Do parents give their son or daughter a gift even though they have paid for the wedding?

Answer: A small token of affection from a parent is a nice way to start off the marriage. However, every family situation is different.

Do guests bring a gift, or buy from the registry, if they are incurring expenses for the destination wedding?

Answer: Yes. It’s still a good idea to buy a gift. You can adjust your gift to fit your budget.

How much involvement should a MIL on either side have in the wedding venue or honeymoon destination?

Answer: The MIL should always ask the couple what their comfort level of involvement is before storming ahead with their own agenda.

Is it rude to decline a destination wedding of a good friend or family member?

Answer: The short answer is no. There are many good reasons someone may not be able to attend a destination wedding, and the bride and groom should anticipate there will be some people who won’t be able to attend due to other obligations. They should not make their friends feel bad for making the decision to stay behind.

Can the bride and groom have another celebration when they get home for those who weren’t able to attend?

Answer: As long as the bride and groom are paying for the celebration, and not expecting additional gifts, the answer is yes. Avoid inviting the same people who just celebrated with you the week prior.

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