Smart, Savvy, and Thoughtful: Holiday Gift-Giving Etiquette
The holidays are here, and along with many merry and joyful moments, there is a bit of stress around finding the perfect gift. This is especially true when budgets are tight and wish lists are long. Let’s unwrap our best tips for easing the gift-giving pressure while keeping holiday spirits bright.
Practical and Thoughtful
How can you give while honoring your budget? One place to consider is a consignment or thrift shop. We have the Assistance League Thrift House here in San Antonio, and I’m sure there are others in your home town. When done right, there are plenty of good options. Both new and used treasures are everywhere. This option is even more attractive to those on your list who are eco-conscious and enjoy thrifting.
Gift Exchange and Drawing Names
A gift exchange is another solution to the ever-growing shopping list. While a gift swap can a holiday hit, there are some pitfalls. Here are a few tips:
- Don’t ignore the agreed-upon budget – if the amount is 20.00, stick to 20.00 and don’t go over
- Avoid switching names or telling others who you drew – this ruins the fun
- Find the right gift – think about their personal likes and dislikes, or discreetly ask around for hints
- Steer away from overly personal gifts if you don’t know them well, or if they are your peer or boss

Shop Local
Supporting small businesses and charity thrift shops multiplies the value of your purchase by helping deserving community members.
Experiences Over Candles
Many people, including family members, would appreciate a day trip or adventure with you more than they would another generic gift. You can create a handwritten IOU for a special outing in the months ahead.
Gifts Must Make Sense
There is no right or wrong gift; if the receiver has it on their wish list, or you know they are big fans of the gift or experience. A scale may be offensive to one person, and a welcome treat for another who is health and budget conscious.
No Comparisons or Apologies
Gifts are a symbol of affection, not a measure of your value. Focus on the sentiment rather than the price point.
Regift with Caution
Regifting is a hot topic that comes up every year, and one I’ve written about previously.
- Gift must be new or like new
- Item fits the recipient’s particular tastes
- Remove all tags and store information
- Regift outside of the same friend group
- Avoid regifting art or heirlooms
No Strings Attached
What happens if you are given a gift and don’t have anything for the person, and don’t want to give them a gift? A gift does not have to be reciprocated.
Tip vs Gift
Is a tip better than a gift to providers such as hairstylists, manicurists, and massage therapists? When do you give a gift rather than a tip? The answer is service-based versus personal. Although, many family members prefer cash and gift cards rather than a gift. It’s important to know your audience and make the decision based on their request.
You may also like Gift Giving Among Friends.
For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go To” social and professional etiquette authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas.
See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook and find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost.

