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Pumpkin Spice, Not So Nice? Answering Your Fall Etiquette Questions

ByDiane Gottsman
Pumpkin Spice Fall Etiquette Questions Pumpkin latte in a hands of woman | Cropped shot of young woman in a sweater holding a cup of latte with foam art. Female with a hot coffee drink and traditional autumnal holidays decoration. Close up, copy space, top view, background.

We all love those first little signs of fall, watching the grocery aisles fill up with candy corn, pulling out a cozy throw, and hoping we can channel cooler weather in the weeks to come. The flavors of the season are on the menu, from your favorite coffee shop rolling out their pumpkin spice and apple selections to the neighborhood bakery announcing their fall sweet treats. But apparently, there are situations when pumpkin spice is not so nice. A viewer wrote in with a dilemma we all can relate to, regardless of the time of year.  

Viewer Question:

My husband and I were recently invited to a friend’s home for dinner, and as soon as we walked through the door, the smell of artificial pumpkin spice hit us and lingered throughout the entire night. We could barely taste our food, and by the time we left, we both had pumpkin-sized headaches. I want to say something to my friend (the host), but I also don’t want to offend her. Many guests felt the same way and were making comments throughout the night. Should I speak up, or stay silent in the name of friendship?

cup of tea with burning candles in cozy home

Answer:

If you are a close friend, you can certainly let her know the pumpkin fragrance was a bit strong. Avoid making a group complaint, because it sounds like everyone was gossiping or complaining behind the host’s back. A kind, tactful comment like, “I hope you don’t mind me sharing a little loving feedback about your dinner party. Everything was beautiful, and you were the perfect host. I thought you would want to know the room freshener was quite strong. One alternative for the seasonal scents that we love is a simmer pot with natural ingredients like cinnamon sticks, orange slices, and vanilla extract. I know how much you love fall, and I felt certain you would want to know.” 

And, here is another good viewer question:

Holiday decorations are everywhere, but it feels weird to decorate for fall when the temperature is still in the 100s outside. How can I make a gentle transition without going “all in” immediately with the fall decor? Is there such a thing as too early to decorate? 

Answer:

First of all, there’s no right or wrong answer when it comes to how much and how soon you can decorate. If you want to cloak your home in orange glitter, feel free and enjoy. On the other hand, if you want to take it slower and transition gradually, you can do that, as well.

Even though the temps are high, you can certainly incorporate a little (or a lot of) fall spirit into your home and your entertaining decor. It’s all about transition. Here are some ideas on how to jump in gently, unless you decide to take the deep dive into PSL.

Orange Slice vs Candy Corn

Sweet fruit lemon marmalade - food background

If you have decorative candy jars around your home, filling them with orange slice candy rather than candy corn and pumpkins can be a nice complement to the season. If you’re anything like me, the candy will not stay in the candy jar very long, and you can make the switch as the month progresses.

Subtle Hues of Fall vs Summer Pastels

Warm toned textiles including orange knitted throw with fringe and green textured cushion layered on comfortable sofa seat. Small decorative pumpkin sits atop blanket, invoking cozy harvest season

Swapping out pastels and summer pillows for more autumnal hues is a cozy way to update your home. A soft throw over an armchair or couch adds warmth without a large amount of bulk.

A bigger job, but a great start to the seasonal transformation, is swapping out draperies from cotton to woven (if you change seasonally). 

Bowls with Fruit vs Veggies

Decorating with bowls of apples and oranges is a fresh and lovely way to brighten your table. Incorporate your pumpkins and gourds as the season progresses. A woven basket and a woodsy candle are all nods of anticipation to the spirit of fall. Put away your lemon and ocean breeze scents until next spring and summer.

Fall Scents and Seasonal Teas

A big part of the fall appeal is the scents and flavors. It’s never too early to brew a cup of your favorite seasonal tea. Enjoy it iced if the heat outside is still intense. While it may feel early to light a pumpkin candle, you can slowly begin to bring in your favorite natural scents through a simmer pot or your preferred essential oil blend. Southern Living has a simple stovetop potpourri recipe online with red apple, cloves, vanilla bean, and cranberries. 

More ideas on how to transition to fall without a drastic change: 

  • Change the texture
  • Deepen the color
  • Warm up the scent
  • Follow nature

You may also like Fall Gathering Ideas for the Gracious Host. 

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go To” social and professional etiquette authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook and find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.

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