8 Tips for Meeting Your Partner’s Parents

It’s a moment when everyone realizes the stakes are getting high and there is a potential long-term plan.

You are being introduced to the inner circle, where you might end up permanently. How do you make a great first impression? It pays to give the first meeting some thought.

Here are 8 ways to minimize awkwardness when meeting your future in-laws.

Do Your Homework

Ask your mate questions so you will be prepared. Knowledge is power and going in knowing something about your partner’s parents will facilitate positive conversation. Showing a genuine interest is a good start to forging an authentic connections

Put Your Best Foot Forward

The old adage is true: you only get one chance. Walk through the front door feeling confident and self assured. Dress appropriately for the  occasion, whether it’s a backyard BBQ or formal dinner at a fine dining establishment. Pay attention to small details such as scuff marks on your shoes, loose buttons on your shirt and frayed sleeves.

Silent and Listen Have the Same Letters

You may be so focused on making a good impression you try to dazzle them with a barrage of information or flattering stories about yourself. Resist this temptation. The best way to get to know someone is to show interest in them, letting a two-way conversation unfold naturally, not to try to sell them on you. Ask them questions about themselves and their family to get to know them better.

Engage Appropriately

Jitters can make people try too hard and come on too strong, but they can also have the opposite effect of making them clam up and appear disinterested. Strike a balance. Don’t go in with the exuberance of a new puppy, but don’t play it so cool they think you aren’t interested. Above all, do not hide behind your phone when you need to be focused on the people in front of you.

Follow Their Lead

If you are staying in their home, respect their house rules. It may mean separate bedrooms or coming to breakfast fully dressed for the day. Be observant of which subtle and not so subtle nuances his or her parents find important and take heed. Your potential future in-laws will appreciate your efforts.

Be An Ideal Guest

Chip in with the chores. Offer help with meal preparation and pitch in after dinner to clear the table and wash dishes.  If your budget allows, treat them to a meal or offer to cook. Clean up after yourself in the bedroom and bathroom and leave your daily living space better than when you arrived.

Stay Positive

View your initial meeting as you would a job interview. As you wouldn’t badmouth your previous employer, avoid talking negatively about an ex or your own family. Doing so will leave them wondering what you will say about them.

If the discussion turns to their own family issues, stay out of the mix. It’s not your place to criticize in this new situation, so stay neutral. Do your best to keep the conversation light and positive, even if it means biting your tongue about politics or religion.

Stay Connected

Don’t delay! Write a short note, acknowledging their goodwill and thanking them for their hospitality. Keep in touch by reaching out when something of interest catches your eye you think they will enjoy. Good relationships are built over time and it takes genuine effort on your part to create a lasting connection.

You may also like Relationship Etiquette: Have a Little Courtesy. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on HuffPost, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.