How to Keep Your Friendships Strong

Human beings are wired to be social. It’s a scientific fact that isolation and loneliness can have a negative impact on health.

Yet when life seems to be a never-ending series of items on a to-do list our time can easily get consumed in juggling careers, household and family commitments, and an assortment of miscellaneous duties. When life gets busy, friendships are often first to be sacrificed.

As life gets harried, adults need a trusted support system more than ever during this time.

Here are 9 ways to strengthen the quality of your friendships:

 

Keep Your Word

If you make a commitment to meet a friend for a meal, coffee, or an evening walk, do everything in your power to honor your commitment. Nothing will erode a friendship faster than consistently flaking out on plans, especially at the last minute. While emergencies do come up from time to time, ditching your friend when something more appealing comes along can cause permanent damage to your relationship.

 

Show an Interest in Their Interests

It’s one of life’s simple truths: the people who make the best friends are those who are interested in others. Be the person who wants to hear about a friend’s life. Asking questions and showing a sincere interest in what is happening in your friend’s world is a way to stay connected and informed. It’s the foundation of a real relationship.

 

Stay Connected

It may be difficult to visit with your friends on a regular basis so keep in touch by phone, text, or email. Maintaining contact through a quick message is similar to making a deposit in your friendship account. Try to reach out at least once a month to those living out of town and more often when you are across town.

 

Simplify Your Social Gatherings

You may dream of hosting an elaborate dinner for a group of your closest friends, but if you feel pressured in any way, simply order pizza and beer and make it a night in. Keep focused on the intent. It’s not really about the food, the décor, or the venue; but the people who make your life complete with their funny stories, loyalty, and lasting memories.

 

Celebrate Milestones

Whether it’s a birthday, wedding, housewarming, or graduation, participate in the major (and minor) happenings in the lives of close friends. People remember how you show up at milestones to celebrate a happy occasion or offer support during a difficult time. Looking back at who was there and who wasn’t is a telling sign of who you can and can’t count on.

 

Social Media Friends Are Not Always True Friends

Regardless of how many “friends” you boast about having on social media, a real friend knows you more deeply and personally. Instead of nurturing a cult media following, concentrate on who you can rely on when it matters most. Be mindful of how much time you spend perusing social media, especially if you feel you have no time to get together with friends. An hour spent having a cup of coffee with a friend is a far better investment in your well-being than an hour spent scrolling your newsfeed. Social media can be a valuable tool for staying in touch, but it should not be a substitute for spending time with real friends.

 

Initiate Plans

Be proactive! Instead of waiting and wishing for an invitation, organize a happy hour or lunch. Ask a friend to join you in your exercise class or for a walk. Find like-minded people to spend time with. For example, if you are interested in running, join a running group (or start one!). Look for ways to create a community that includes people you already know and others with similar interests.

 

Schedule It

Sometimes it’s easier to make time with friends happen when it’s on a regular schedule. Consider creating a monthly book club with like-minded friends or perhaps start a girl’s night out that takes place on a particular day each month. When events occur regularly, it becomes easier to plan around them and make them happen.

 

Be Clear About Your Priorities

When you don’t clearly define your values and priorities, it’s easy to slip into default mode and let other less important things dominate your schedule. Decide what’s truly important in your life, what brings you authentic happiness and value, then plan accordingly.

 

You may also like Signs of a Healthy Friendship. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on HuffPost, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.