The Gift of a No-Decision Birthday

A friend recently received a birthday present she will always remember: a decision-free celebration.

This was a magical experience for her because someone else – a trusted friend who knows her well – decided what would make a great outing and then made the arrangements, selecting where to eat, what activity to do and other details. The birthday girl’s only job was to show up.

This idea is appealing on many levels, but perhaps the biggest enticement is that it takes the burden of planning a celebration off of the person of honor. Having someone else make the plans and manage the particulars can be a refreshing and welcome change. Something as simple as having a friend choose a restaurant and movie can add another layer of ease and relaxation to the fun.

“Decision fatigue” is real. Every day most people make an endless series of choices both big and small for their families, jobs, households, health, pets, budget and many other areas of life. That can make deciding how to mark a special occasion seem like just one more thing on the to-do list.

This is also true of other special times such as anniversaries. You might think you are doing your loved one a favor by inviting them to choose anything they would like, but letting someone else take the driver’s seat could be a treat.

Here are some tips for making someone’s day special by taking the pressure off of the decision-making process:

Get Their Buy-in

A no-decision birthday may not work for everybody. Some people would rather not relinquish control over their agendas. Some enjoy the process of researching and deciding on all the elements of a fun experience. Start by offering to make all the arrangements. If they are game, ask if there’s anything that they would definitely like the adventure to include or if they’d rather leave it up to you. Also, ask if they would like to know the schedule in advance since not everyone likes surprises.

Choose Wisely

Think about what this person likes when making her birthday plans. Taking your friend to a basketball game when they are not interested in sports would not be well received. However, if you know they love wine, and as an adventure in the countryside, a wine tour would be a perfect choice. Part of the fun of making plans for a friend is seeing the reaction when you choose things that resonate with her – and when you see that your thoughtfulness truly touched her.

Set the Mood

Create the right ambiance by paying attention to details. Have a s’mores picnic and pull out your vintage ware, fill a few thermoses with hot cocoa and serve it in a couple of meaningful mugs. Add pretty linen to the mix, along with a few treats and perhaps some peppermint schnapps to spice up the cocoa.

Timing is Everything

It is important to find a time where the mood of the day is not ruined by rushing through the experience. Discuss in advance what day works best so you can plan accordingly. For some people, midday is better while someone else may prefer getting together in the evening for celebration; some have more free time on the weekends while some find it easier to get away during the week. Provide a beginning and an end time so you both can plan appropriately. In the fall it gets dark sooner so keep that in mind when planning a day experience.

Keep it Simple

Although you might want to go skydiving or zip lining, the experience could also be something as simple as a picnic lunch with their favorite foods, perhaps with home-baked cookies and a beautiful blanket that becomes part of their gift. The effort does not have to be extraordinary to create an unforgettable occasion.

 

You may also like How to Keep Your Friendships Strong. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on Huff Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.