How to Handle Holiday Food Pushers

Celebrations and traditions involving food and drink are part of the holiday season. It makes it difficult for many who are trying to follow a specific eating plan that doesn’t include pumpkin pie, stuffing, eggnog or an assortment of fat and sugary treats. It’s even more difficult when food pushers undermine your efforts by criticizing your preferences or insist you “try a bite”.

Food pushing typically happens as you pass on something – often a dessert, alcohol or other indulgence – followed by someone commenting on your decision, usually in a way which undermines your choice: “Oh come on, it’s Christmas!”, “Life is short, just eat the pie!”, “Just have one drink.”, or “I made this dish just for you!” Follow these tips to deal with food pushers at your next holiday dinner or party.

The Reason Behind the Food Pusher Mentality

Why do food pushers do it? There are a number of potential reasons why! Sometimes they genuinely want you to have fun and not miss out. Some encourage that piece of pie because they feel it is more festive if everyone partakes together. Some may try to sabotage your efforts to feel better about their own food choices.

You Don’t Need to Explain Your Decision

Regardless of intention, remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation about what you put on your plate. Your preferences and health goals are just as valid (actually more so) as someone else’s desire for you to eat a cookie. You do not owe anyone an explanation.

Don’t Take It Personally

When people make snide remarks on what you’re eating, remember it says more about them than about you. Keep your goals in mind, remind yourself why you’re making your choices and stick to your plan. You are in control and you will be happy you set your boundaries and adhered to them.

Be Factual but Unapologetic

If you are allergic or sensitive to a particular food, saying so as you decline should end the conversation quickly. You have no reason to be apologetic when making a food choice that will keep you safe. It’s important to be your child’s advocate as well. No one looks after you or your family as carefully as you do! Ask questions and if you feel something isn’t safe to eat – skip it.

Decide How Much You Choose to Share

If someone questions you, you can tell pretty quickly if you want to engage in a dialogue about nutrition choices—if it’s a cousin who’s gluten-free, it might be enjoyable to chat about your dietary challenges together. However, if it’s someone who probably won’t be very supportive, you don’t have to engage. Simply say “I’m good with this, thanks.”

Appreciate the Effort

If Aunt Mary seems hurt that you passed on her gingerbread cookies because she made them especially for you, try to focus on the sentiment of love and connection behind her actions and respond in a way which acknowledges her thoughtfulness and acknowledges her efforts: “Aunt Mary, you make the best cookies. I will take these cookies home and share them with my friends.” There are times when a small fabrication of the truth, such as, “I will enjoy this with a cup of coffee on Christmas Eve”is all your Aunt Mary wants to hear.

Share Your Dish

Prepare a casserole which meets your dietary requirements and dazzles your host. It’s amazing how a special salad other healthy choice can add to the holiday menu. First, ask your host what you can bring that would complement the meal. If you are abstaining from alcohol, bring a carton of non-alcoholic drinks (i.e. sparkling water) so you’re guaranteed to have something available to drink

Stand Firm

If someone won’t let it go, lower your voice (not raise it), look them directly in the eyes, and say firmly but politely, “John, I’m really not interested in dessert.” Change the topic and keep your tone of voice pleasant and direct the conversation elsewhere.

Eat Before You Go

This is the most important rule of all for sticking to your food plan during the holidays. Remember dinners and parties are about getting together to celebrate the season. Make a point of having a small snack before you leave the house so you won’t be famished in the event there is nothing you can enjoy at the event.

For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on Huff Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.