How to Deal with a Chronic Interrupter

We all know someone who has difficulty listening to a conversation without interrupting the other person to make their own point known. Some people do it intentionally to show authority or control, while others are less calculated and simply don’t have the skills to control their tongue … yet. Here is what you do if you are dealing with a chronic interrupter, or, if you suddenly realize you may be one yourself.

Listen For the Punctuation

One way of controlling your own tongue is to make a mental note to listen until the other person finishes their sentence. Do your best to stay focused on their words and don’t allow your mind to make a mental checklist of what you want to say next. If you are interrupting, you are not listening carefully. Just like we teach children to “Play nice” and “Listen carefully,” it’s important to show respect for the other person by allowing them to speak their mind without jumping in with your own story.

Devise a Strategy in Advance

“I want to discuss something with you and I need your full attention. Please don’t interrupt me until I am finished.” It’s direct, to the point and shows assertive authority. Let the other person know the content is meaningful to you and you need them to really hear and process what you are saying before giving you feedback. Suppose you are having a difficult discussion with your boss. In that case, you can say, “Ashley, I need to have an important conversation with you regarding (be specific about what you plan to discuss) and I want to schedule a time when I have your undivided attention.” Once you arrive at the meeting, say, “I appreciate your time and respectfully request you hear me out before making any comments.” 

Plan for the Expected

Most of the time, you know what you are about to encounter. If you are dealing with an unhappy client, annoyed partner or angry kid, prepare for the encounter in advance. Find a neutral place to meet, speak for short bursts rather than monopolizing the conversation. And keep a pleasant expression on your face. Avoid an aggressive tone of voice, be open to listening to their point of view and watch your body language, so you don’t send the message that you are closed to hearing what they have to say. 

Set Your Boundaries

Use your hands. Not in a confrontational, closed fisted gesture, but as an attempt to get their attention. Raise your hand, palm out with fingers slightly separated and firmly state, “Please, let me finish.” If they continue to ramble, verbally and physically disengage until they have stopped. If they are not willing to respectfully listen, remove yourself from the conversation. Intentional distance will make an impact. People remember tantrums and don’t receive them well – whether they are engaged personally or watching from afar.

Be Clear and Realistic About Your Expectations

The reality is that everyone interrupts at one time or another. A chronic interrupter is different. For an occasional offender, you can say, “Thanks for sharing your story, Jenn. To get back to the point I was making ….”, the second time it happens, you can say, “May I finish my thoughts before we get off track again?”

Letting the other person know you are aware of their behavior, whether it is innocent or intentional, eliminates your stress. Bottom line is you have to decide if the conversation with this person is of value or simply a useless attempt to convey a messsage they aren’t interested in hearing and processing. 

You might also like 4 Tips for Overcoming Embarrassment. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on The Huffington Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter.