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Graduation Party Manners: In-Person Celebrations

24 May 2021 By: Diane Gottsman

This year is especially joyful when it comes to celebrations. Last year was fraught with cancellations of significant events, among them graduation. Now with the vaccine and CDC updating their guidelines, students will be able to graduate in person in many states. I’m passing along my thoughts on Graduation Party Manners via HuffPost below. 

graduation party manners

Previously published on HuffPost.

Invitations vs. Announcements 

An invitation means you are being asked to attend the graduation ceremony itself. An announcement is designed to shares the news with friends and family. Because seating is limited at these events, do not feel hurt if you “only” receive an announcement. It’s common to send announcements to a wide range of people such as relatives, family friends or special supporters of the graduate over the years. 

An entirely separate invitation is sent for a party. That guest list will certainly include everyone invited to the ceremony and more. As with any invitation you receive, remember to RSVP promptly so the host(s) can plan. 

Do I Need to Send a Gift?

When you receive a graduation announcement, you are not required to send a gift. Depending on how close you are to the graduate or their family, you may wish to. However, a congratulatory card or phone call would be an appropriate gesture as well. If you attend the celebration, graduation party manners call for bringing a gift for the graduate and a small gift for the host. 

Feel Free to Email Invitations 

Email is a practical medium for sending party invitations, especially if you invite the graduate’s friends and don’t have mailing addresses (or they are in flux due to moving at the end of the school year). This is a better choice than texting which feels too informal and is easy to delete or forget. However, do send a mailed invitation for guests you suspect are not frequently checking their inboxes. 

Graduation Party Manners: Put the Party on a Time Frame 

It’s good to set a start and end time for the party. The graduate probably has other friends who are celebrating and that frees them up to move on to the next celebration without looking like they are abandoning their guests. However, good graduation party manners include the guest of honor (the graduate) staying for at least an hour to greet each of their guests and make small talk with those who made a special effort to attend their party. Make sure the graduate verbally thanks each person for being a part of their graduation fête. 

Be Ready for Polite Party Chat

While the graduate needs to make pleasant conversation with every guest, it’s up to party-goers to do the same. At such a milestone, it’s easy to default into nosy questions with young people: “So are you up to your ears in student loans?” Or even thinly veiled critiques of their plans: “What are you supposed to do with a liberal arts degree?” Instead, keep questions and comments positive and convey your genuine excitement for the person you are there to honor. 

Plan for a Mixed Crowd 

There’s no need to throw two separate parties unless that’s your preference. You just need to plan one party that has something for everyone. While the younger people might want to play volleyball in the pool, the grandparents and aunts and uncles might prefer to relax inside the air conditioning. 

With mixed generations, make sure you have a supply of water and non-alcoholic drinks in addition to whatever adult beverages you may have planned. While it’s not necessary to provide entertainment, something fun like a photo booth with props is an activity that everyone can enjoy and will capture fun memories. 

Thank You Notes are a Must 

As with any gift-giving occasion, thank you notes are mandatory. The best thank you notes are handwritten and mailed. This is great practice for graduates who will need to use this skill during their job search and other situations as they embark on the next phase of their lives.

For more information check out Graduation Etiquette 2021. You may also like Outdoor Entertaining Etiquette Tips. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on The Huffington Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter.

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Diane Gottsman

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.