It’s an exciting time when people are finally getting together without feeling the pressure of having to wear a mask. With this new freedom comes some anxiety as to how to re-enter the social world. Many people are uneasy about socializing with people who have not been vaccinated. Others have questions about how to greet and say hello after a long hiatus. I am answering some of your Post-Pandemic Social Etiquette questions today.
Question:
I’m going to my first official face to face cocktail party where I will be seeing friends I haven’t seen for over a year. How should I greet them without offending them? Should I offer them a knuckle bump, handshake or hug? I don’t want to appear standoffish.
Answer:
Take your lead by watching the body language of the person you are about to greet. Realize everyone will have a different comfort level and you may be greeting several people multiple different ways. When in doubt, don’t “jump in”. Physical contact is not appropriate without permission. Ask your favorite cousin, “Are you comfortable with a hug or should we elbow bump?” Communicating with a smile and using a friendly tone of voice will set the tone for a comfortable exchange.
Question:
I have been invited to a wedding, but I am not comfortable accepting the invitation if there will be people who are not vaccinated in this social setting. Is it okay to ask the bride if she will be limiting her guest list to “vaccinated guests only”?
Answer:
A guest has a right to ask the host (bride or groom) what they can expect at the wedding and ceremony. Especially on the topic of the pandemic where people have very strong feelings about vaccinations, health and safety measures. The guest should ask kindly, keeping their tone of voice non-judgmental, “What are your plans for inviting unvaccinated guests?” or “Are you requiring your guests to be vaccinated and show proof?” Keep in mind there is a high risk of offending some guests, but the immune-compromised and those with strong religious beliefs and underlying health issues will have to make a personal decision based on their comfort level.
Question:
Is it rude to wear a mask when everyone else isn’t wearing one to a party? My husband says if I wear a mask, I will make other people feel uneasy, but I am still uncomfortable in crowded social settings.
Answer:
If you would like to wear a mask, it’s certainly your personal choice. You might ask the bride and groom if they have any qualms with you wearing a face covering while everyone else is bare faced. If they say yes, they would prefer you go without one, you have a personal reason to decline the invitation. Explain you don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable and respect their candor. If you choose not to attend, thank them for understanding your reason and assure them you will all get together in a smaller, more personal setting after the wedding.
Question:
How do I answer the point-blank question, “Have you been vaccinated?” I have been, but I know some people who have not, including my daughter, who is concerned it might affect her childbearing options. As a courtesy to my family, I would prefer to keep my private information private.
Answer:
Everyone has a personal belief about the vaccination and asking someone for their vaccination status for no reason at all is similar to asking about the size of their bank account. It is not a conversation starter, however, most people are not attempting to be purposely invasive, simply sincerely concerned for the safety of their own health or their families.
When in doubt and feeling on edge, you can politely ask, “Are you asking because you are concerned for your health or just curious?” I can’t say that you should not ask, but I recommend asking for the right reasons, not solely for the sake of random conversation.
Question:
Is it rude to ask my hairstylist or babysitter if they have been vaccinated before I use them again?
Answer:
It certainly is not rude for the same reasons I mentioned in the previous question. Feel free to ask without hesitation. If your hairstylist has not been vaccinated, it doesn’t have to be goodbye forever. You can let her know while you may be taking a break from her services for now, you will look forward to seeing her again when life gets back to an open and full socialization routine.
For more information check out The Protocol School of Texas. You may also like Being Aware of High-Touch Surfaces When Returning to the Office. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on The Huffington Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter.
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