Thanksgiving Etiquette Q&A

Thanksgiving is on November 25 this year, and there is still time to start preparing for some potential holiday faux pas. There are numerous conundrums worth discussing before they happen in real-time. We have collected a few Thanksgiving etiquette questions from a handful of nervous hosts to make sure there are no turkey day disasters on the horizon.

Thanksgiving Etiquette Q&A

Question: As the host, when the invitation for Thanksgiving dinner says 6:00, what time should I have everything on the table, ready to eat?

Answer: Offer cocktails and appetizers when guests arrive, and serve dinner approximately an hour later.

Question: If there are extremely tardy guests, should we wait for them or start serving the food?

Answer: It depends on how late the guests are running. If a guest is running a few minutes late, up to 15 or 20 minutes, and appetizers have been served, it won’t hurt to delay the meal. However, if a guest is running significantly behind, it’s not comfortable to ask your other guests to wait. Instead, the guest who is running late can sit down when they arrive, and you can plate the meal then.

Question: If salad is served and a guest arrives during the main course, do I have to start the soup course first and then offer them the main course?

Answer: No, you can serve the meal in its entirety up to the point you are currently eating. Ask them if they would like their soup, and chances are, they will say they will jump into the main course with the rest of the guests,

Question: Is it impolite to ask the host what they will be serving in case I don’t like what is on the menu?

Answer: It’s impolite to vet the meal when determining whether you will attend; however, you can certainly ask what the menu will include, and if it is something you can’t stomach, you can offer to bring a few additional dishes to share with fellow guests. Your host will probably welcome the help.

Question: If you notice the pumpkin pie is not completely cooked once it is served on the plate, is there a way to salvage the dessert?

Answer: When you cut into the pie and notice it is a bit moist and jiggly, you can cover it with aluminum foil and put it in the oven at 375 F for approximately 15 minutes. Top it with whipped cream to cover any cracks or slice throughs.

Question: How can you tell when a pumpkin pie is done?

Answer: Insert a knife in the middle of the pie, and if the knife comes out clean, it is ready to eat. If you use a thermometer, the temperature should read 175 degrees.

Question: I have heard it is impolite if you don’t bring a bottle of wine to be served at the table. Is this true?

Answer: It’s a kind gesture to bring a bottle of wine for the host (un-chilled) but not mandatory to bring a bottle for the table unless your host has asked you to please contribute.

Question: As the host of Thanksgiving dinner, do I need to propose a toast, or can someone else do it for me?

Answer: As the host, it would be very nice if you offered a very quick welcome toast, informal and short. But, it’s also appropriate for a guest or two to honor the host by proposing a toast in their honor. Mention the food, the effort it took to bring everyone together and the significance of the special occasion.

Question: Does the host have to give a parting gift to their guests?

Answer: No, the gift was the Thanksgiving celebration, and if the host wants to send the guests home with leftovers, that would be a nice treat but not necessary.

Question: Should I send flowers or a thank you note after the party is over?

Answer: Either one is great. It all depends on the host and their preference and your budget. A note is much less expensive and just as heartfelt as a delivery of flowers.

Be sure to check out The Protocol School of Texas. You may also like Friendsgiving Etiquette & Fall Party Checklist. Read Diane’s posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on The Huffington Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter.