Making Your Own Christmas Cheer

I’m going to admit something I generally keep under my Santa hat. The holidays are the happiest time of year for me, but they also make me feel sad. The twinkling lights and the scent of balsam fir conjure up a gamut of emotions, all running through my body at once like an explosion of firecrackers and pounding ocean waves. I have always had very specific traditions that in previous years were considered non-negotiables. However, in the last four years, I’ve had some major life changes, and through it all, I’ve tried to hold it all together, acting like nothing has changed and all is well. But, the reality is, while all is well, everything is foreign, and nothing feels normal … yet.

Holidays are different and birthdays are different and Tuesdays are different and the water pressure coming out of my shower is different. Toss in a recent pandemic, and life often feels unsteady.

Making Your Own Christmas Cheer

All Seems Merry and Bright

Take a quick glance at social media, and it can really play tricks with your head. Post after post of the perfectly lit trees, in meticulously manicured lawns and elaborate bows hanging from beautiful, oversized ginger jars. Of course, the grass looks greener in your neighbor’s yard.

But boys and girls, comparisons wreak holiday havoc. They are exaggerated, photoshopped and unrealistic. Nothing is really as shiny as it seems. We don’t know what is going on in someone else’s world or under their roof.

Sweet and Sometimes Bittersweet Christmas Traditions

Last year, I decided I wasn’t going to put up a Christmas tree until two of my three adult children immediately rebelled. I quickly realized the traditions we had established throughout the past 24 years had really made an impression and bonded our family together. Sweet cereal mix, mandarin orange Jell-O, snicker-doodle cookies, tamales on Christmas Eve and the torn and tattered gingerbread men, now missing half of their glitter while still hanging on the tree is how my kids feel the holiday love. So do I. For this family, it’s all about traditions and memories from the past.

A Little Help From an Elf

This year, I found I did not have it in me to dig into my crowded closet, untangle the garland and sort through the multiple shiny balls. I also no longer had the energy to reach out to the one person who used to make my world easy by putting up my greenery and stringing my lights, plus do all of the other tedious things I couldn’t or didn’t want to do on my own. But, my kids want the tree up, and they want the feeling of Christmas (and I do too), but they are working or at school, and I simply don’t want to do it by myself. Even though my youngest daughter, Emily Rose, has taken it upon herself to learn how to make some of our favorite foods, there is still much more to be done, and everyone is busy. I feel like I’m running on empty.

So, I decided this year I would hire someone to help me swirl and twirl and curl every last bow and Christmas decoration I own. It felt joyful like a few little elves were flying around my house, making everything merry and bright. I suddenly had an aha moment… I was happy and felt no shame!

Finding Your Joy

There is NO SHAME in asking for help—from a friend who wants to assist or a professional who is paid to get the job done. The key is to do what you have to do to make it easy on yourself. And, by the way, if you decide you don’t want to put up a tree, then light a candle or put on some holiday music and call it a day.

No one is judging you. And if they are, excuse them from your holiday gathering where you will be serving frozen lasagna instead of roast turkey and having ice cream sandwiches for dessert instead of Buche de Noel. Start new traditions. What matters is the love you show for others and what you get back in return. Ask for what you want, whether it’s someone to help you untangle sparkly lights or sitting and sharing a cup of hot cocoa.

Tis the season to be jolly, and it’s time to start making memories instead of walking around ogling someone else’s greener grass. It all feels soggy, sometimes, but rain brings new growth!

Be sure to check out The Protocol School of Texas. You may also like The Comfort and Joy of Holiday Traditions. Read Diane’s posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on The Huffington Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter.