Diane Gottsman | Leading Etiquette Expert | Modern Manners Authority

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New Year’s Resolutions: Check-In & Simple Ways to Add Value To Your Life

16 Jan 2023 By: Diane Gottsman

New Year's Resolutions Check-In | A female reading a book or writing a diary and sipping hot tea in cozy home workspace. leisure and hobby concept

As we wrap up the first couple of weeks of 2023, chances are good many of us haven’t been able to keep our new year’s resolutions for one reason or another. No matter how sincere the intention is, change is hard. A study conducted by the University of Scranton found that 23% of resolutions are broken in the first week. What’s more, only 20% are able to stick to their goals for any sustainable length of time. Why do we struggle to honor our resolutions, and is there a different, more realistic approach when we find ourselves in this place? Keep reading for a new year’s resolution check-in and new ways to add value to your life.

If It’s Too Hard It Won’t Work

No matter what the commitment may be, if it’s too much of a lift all at once, it won’t work for most of us. You can’t go from being sedentary to running a marathon in two weeks’ time. Learning a language only happens when you are willing to put in the time and effort required. You have to truly be ready to make a change and with the first craving or feeling of guilt or remorse, many people forget why they started.

Avoid Adopting The Goals of Others

If you want to make a change based on what someone else suggests for you, it’s doomed from the start. The commitment has to come from you, for the right reasons and with proper preparation. Poor performance is always a product of a lack of planning and commitment to do the work. Your partner may love to scuba dive, but you are claustrophobic. You get out in the ocean, jump in the boat with 50 other tourists and try to do what they are doing in the hopes it will “all be okay.” Not quite. You may be the one back in the boat, getting a sunburn while everyone else is enjoying the water. If you don’t love it, don’t feel comfortable or haven’t taken the necessary training in advance to make yourself comfortable, it will more than likely be a foiled attempt.

Find That Still, Small Voice

Especially if you struggle to find a moment of quiet for yourself, figuring out what you’d like to work towards comes a little easier when you can settle your mind and look ahead. It could mean grabbing a notebook during their naptime or asking your partner or support system for an hour to yourself. For those of us in different chapters in our lives, travel is another avenue for tapping into our creativity and dreams. I always find so much inspiration when I’m in a new environment, meeting kind and exciting people.

Simple Alternatives:

New Year's Resolutions Check-In | Back view portrait of young African-American woman with backpack enjoying hiking in forest lit by sunlight, copy space

Rather than making huge commitments to change, take small steps that add great value to your life. For example:

Get enough rest when you can. Set a timer to remind you it’s time to log off the computer, sip a cup of tea and get in a warm bath.

Stay true to your word. Nothing makes someone look more untrustworthy than a person who never stands on their word. If you make a plan, stick to it. If you have to have an uncomfortable conversation, speak your truth without making huge fabrications that add up to a bogus excuse for not doing something you don’t want to do. If you need to break up with someone, do it thoughtfully and with compassion. Avoid blame.

Find an outlet for peace. Reflect on the times you have felt a sense of peace and aim to recreate that feeling again. It could be during the last few minutes of yoga as you are resting, exploring a nature trail with a loved one or sitting quietly as you sip the perfect cup of tea at a neighborhood cafe. Brainstorm ways to work these pockets of peace into your regular routine and you’ll begin to notice you feel more like yourself.

Three Places To Start:

The following are three suggestions for getting started, but only if they strike a chord with you.

  • Getting a good night’s rest
  • Replacing a portion of screentime with a gratitude journal or reading
  • Inviting a friend over to catch up and be accountability partners

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas.

See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

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Diane Gottsman

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.