Merry Manners: 2023 Holiday Party Etiquette

Getting social during the holidays requires a merry blend of celebration and courtesy. Spending time with people you enjoy can be a wonderful experience, especially this time of year. A word of caution: it can also be a huge stressor if you don’t think and behave respectfully and strategically. The following are a few holiday party etiquette reminders to start the seasonal soirees off on the right foot. A little consideration works holiday wonders in creating a joyful and harmonious environment.

Merry Manners: 2023 Holiday Party Etiquette

Give Your Guests Warning

A tip for the host: If you expect a “no-shoe” visit, let your guests know in advance so they can wear their favorite holiday classics. At least they won’t be caught off guard or worry about snagging their expensive, cold-weather fashion tights. If you are so inclined, having a few pairs of clean slippers and fun, fuzzy socks may come in handy for those who prefer to have soles between their feet and the floor. If you have a furry pet that will be roaming freely, you may ask if your guests have allergies so they are prepared with an extra dose of allergy meds.

RSVP

Don’t wait too long before accepting or declining a holiday invitation. Your host is counting heads, and showing up with an extra mouth to feed is not only rude but stressful for the host who has set the table for a certain number of guests. If your babysitter cancels at the last moment, make a call to your host and explain the situation. Don’t expect an impromptu invitation for your 4-year-old toddler. You may have to sit this one out or call for babysitter backup – where’s your mom tonight?

Dress to Impress Your Host

It’s always better to overdress than underdress at any holiday occasion. Dressing up lets your host know you are happy you were on the guest list. Select a festive outfit that reflects your personal taste, as well as something that feels comfortable for you to move around in all night long.

Warm It Up at Home

If you are bringing a dish, prepare to do some planning in advance. You may need to heat your dish up but don’t expect to use the host’s oven or stovetop burner for an extended period of time. This may help you plan what you are bringing to the potluck supper.

Address Your Allergy in Advance

If you suffer from a serious allergy, let the host know sooner than later. You can offer to bring a special food item that can be shared with fellow guests. The host may say, “Thank you” or “Don’t bother,” but they will be alerted to your situation. Eat a small portion of food before you arrive to ensure you don’t go hungry in the event you aren’t comfortable with the menu.

Talking Taboo Topics

Even though you feel strongly about politics or religion, do your best to find other topics to talk about that don’t involve strong opinions that could potentially offend other guests. You will never change someone’s mind by steamrolling them at the holiday table, and you will also never receive another invitation to the holiday dinner.

Follow the “No Gifts” Request

You may wonder (worry) that other guests will show up with a gift, and you will look like a Scrooge, but it’s always best to oblige your host and follow their request. If some, or all of the other guests arrive bearing packages, you can feel confident you did the correct thing by following the “no gift” rule. You can, however, show up with a host gift and feel perfectly comfortable.

Bring the Bottle Un-Chilled

When bringing wine as a hostess gift, don’t bring it chilled because it sends the message you expect it to be served. Instead, put your bottle of wine in a gift bag, include a gift tag, and allow your host to enjoy your gift of wine at their discretion, whenever they choose.

Offer to Help, but Don’t Insist

It’s perfectly polite to ask your host if you can help clear the table or wash the dishes, but don’t do anything without their blessing. If they say, “No thank you, please go to the living room and enjoy your friends,” do it. They will be there shortly, and you can mix and mingle with holiday flair.

Don’t Be the Last to Leave

You may be having the time of your life, but if the host is turning off the lights, it’s time to go home. As a matter of fact, you don’t want to be the first or last to leave, and it’s important to follow the lead of your host. If they are fluffing pillows and cleaning the kitchen, you have overstayed your welcome, even if there are other guests still lingering around the living room.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

You may also like Generosity Unwrapped: Your 2023 Holiday Tipping Guide. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost.